Morality, Monogamy n Marriage

Dunno why, was thinking about monogamy. Again. Feels like I've blogged about this b4.

Thought #1
Started thinking about it a few mths ago, when SP told me that the guy she was kinda seeing confessed to being Married. Wah. Apparently he often goes out with other girls, and says that it's not really his fault, the girls were throwing themselves at him. !! Hm. Although. He IS a pretty good looking chap, and it was SP who first asked him out.. but still. I was there when she asked him out, and she wasn't exactly launching herself into his arms.. And on their 'date' they apparently talked about relationships and he mentioned having an ex-girlfriend but said nothing about being married. I guess he conveniently left out the fact that his "ex-gf" is now his current-WIFE.

Thought #2
Kenny C at Hopkins talks enviously about Mormons n how they condone polygamy; Suicide bombers look forward to their 42 virgins when they reach heaven; but Lisa rejects the idea of 42 virgins being heavenly because how can you make each one feel special and loved??.. [i guess it's heaven for the jihadists, but not for the virgins?]

Thought #3
Reading "Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation": polygamy is the norm in the animal kingdom. Makes sense for males because they want to spread their seed. Makes sense for the females because the fittest sperm probably leads to the fittest offspring, + y put all ur eggs into one basket? Makes sense for the species as a whole because more matings lead to more diverse offspring, lead to increased chance of survival in times of crisis.

Back in the day, Kings would keep harems of mistresses. Under Islamic law, it's still legal to have more than 1 wife. [Although I think this is more because of the male-dominance of the society than enlightened views of evolution, since females can't have more than 1 husband.]

But now in 'modern', westernised society, it's not only immoral to be polygamous, it's illegal to have more than one spouse at any one time. Since there is a clear genetic argument to be made for sexual promiscuity, IS OUR MORALITY HOLDING BACK OUR EVOLUTION?

[An interesting thought that just came to me: suppose the Church is so anti-evolution because this would undermine all their moral teachings as well?]

Thought #4
Ah hah! Now I remember why this topic seems familiar-- I wrote something about the movie 'Kinsey', where this guy, his wife, and his students started engaging in all sorts of sex in all sort of combinations. In the movie the whole thing breaks down because of jealousies and the question of love.

Recently saw the movie 'The Barbarian Invasions'. It's excellent. so I watched the 'making-of' clip in the DVD. One of the actresses was reminiscing about the 60s/70s, the whole peace, love, flower-power era. So apparently, back then it was all about You shd love n sleep with whoever and however many you want. Her bf then really embraced this philosophy, but she never felt comfortable with it. But she also felt that it was morally wrong to object to his infidelities because of peace, love etc. So then she also slept with someone else, and once she did that, she found that she didn't love her bf anymore. Mebbe she's just not the alpha male/female type?


Conclusion:
Seems like polygamy makes biological sense, but it doesn't really work in human society, even when it's universally accepted [eg. during the peace, love, flower-power era]? Like all logical, utopian ideals (eg. Communism), human nature/society tends to throw curveballs?


Random, off topic thought:
MM Lee said that if the opposition wants to become a real challenge to the PAP, it should challenge them on concrete issues, like housing, the economy, health care, education etc, instead of just whining about how the PAP treats them unfairly and doesn't provide a level playing field. Hm. I guess that makes sense. but I think challenging the PAP's stand on 'free speech' is pretty relevant to society as a whole. [Probably the reason y no one talks about housing and health care is becos the PAP is doing a good job in those areas. How to challenge 90% home ownership?] But they are really trying to revamp the education system, say what 'teach less to learn more'. So Rubbish. I think the best part of the education system is that they teach more. Coming to the US, we really have an edge over the Americans. How else to get 3.8GPA and do triple majors in 3 yrs? The lack of creativity is not because of our overwhelming education system. It's because we can't even debate race and politics without fear of getting sued left, right and center. MM Lee says he doesn't believe that S'poreans are scared to talk to the ST about politics. Hm. Are we talking about the same S'pore? S'pore in 2000? He's still thinking about the 1950s, mebbe.

Ok. so mebbe it's an irrational fear. I'm pretty sure that if I insinuate bad things about the PAP here, I'll still be ok, and if I have children in future they will be able to get into Primary sch, and I won't get knocks on my door at night frm people about to take me away for questioning... But I'm still scared.

Stupid Expts...

ARGH! nothing works! I'll be stuck here forever!!! Stupid cells don't wanna degranulate.... I'm DOOMED..... time is ticking inexorably away, and I have accomplished Nothing =XXXXXX.....

*panic attack*

sigh. all I want is my PhD. is that too much to ask?


---------------------------

Never have I felt such torture.
All I think of is her.
Needing the opiate of her favor, I am
Consumed by the Unattainable;
Yeasting with sound and fury, and accomplishing nothing.

---------------------------

rain

I remember the only Chinese essay I ever received a good grade for: It was an essay about 'Rain'. It was pouring outside and I thought that really sucked. So as a mental exercise I decided to write an essay about how great the rain was and how I really liked it to rain. Made up some story about how rain washed away the dirt and the evil, how it was a rebirth, etc. Almost convinced myself, until class ended and I had to go home in the bl**dy rain. Moral of the story: chinese teachers like precipitation.

was making the short 20 second hike frm car to class last night and it was a crazy battle between my umbrella and the howling wind/rain. I was wondering why Mother Nature was punishing my poor little umbrella.:

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: Yes I know you're damn powerful. Now stop it already and let me pass!

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: Why do you feel the need to show off, huh? My umbrella has suffered enough! It doesn't have to take this kind of sh!t frm you.

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: dammit.

Saving Face

watched the movie yesterday, after eating way too much for steamboat (aka 'hotpot). There's something about steamboat that makes me overeat. I think the problem is that you get something cooked, you eat it. You cook something else, you eat that too. So it's almost impossible to keep track of how much you eat until suddenly you're beset by this feeling of unparalleled expansion + tightness and you realise that oops you've done it again. And it's definately exacerbated by helpful friends putting food in your bowl.

But I digress. I think the movie is excellent. rumor has it that it's directed by an ex-Stanford student. It's about a young chinese-american girl (Wil) who's doing her surgical residency in NYC. Her single mother lives with her grandparents in Flushing, Queens. One day her mum shows up at her door, pregnant and chased out by her really strict and traditional father (Wil's grandfather). Almost at the same time, Wil falls in love with and starts dating Vivian, another ABC with parental connections in Flushing. (Apparently, there's this whole community of immigrant Chinese in Flushing that are really close knit, everyone knows everyone else and tries to matchmake each other's offspring etc)

So. it gets kinda complicated. the basic issues (for Wil) are

1) Pregnant mother in house
2) In love with another woman. How to tell pregnant mother n grandparents?
3) Pregnant mother is redecorating house (pink curtains, bedsheets etc)
4) Who is the father?????

It's a really hilarious look into the immigrant Chinese community and the second generation woes. But Wil's and Vivian's chinese is absolutely atrocious. Probably my only gripe about the movie. But according to the director's notes, the movie is ultimately about LLUUURRVE.

Told Lisa that I thought that Wil is chio but Lisa says that Vivian was definately a lot chio-er. And the guys thought so too. But it's all in the make up and clothes, man. I looked her up on the internet and with makeup and in a dress she looked more.. um.. alluring.

'allo 'allo

Nighthawk, come in Nighthawk.

'allo 'allo. this is nighthawk. receiving you loud and clear.

Nighthawk, this is your message: Aunt Tilda is arriving Thursday. She hasn't got any matches.

um. but Aunt Mary is still here. where am I going to put all these relatives?

That's your problem, Nighthawk. Over and out.



- iambored

2006!

saw pics of people in Times Square with those cheesy glasses that say '2006' where the "00" are the lenses for your eyes... I was just thinking that we only have 3 more years to wear these kinda glasses... when it's 2010 it's not gonna work anymore!! I'll definately have to get me a pair in 2009.

these couple days i've been doing this 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. it's 'bout 2/3 done, i think. but i'm a little sick of it. and it's taking up all the space on my dining table so i've had to eat my dinner in front of the TV. =X. it's a picture of this log cabin above a river, and there's a nice cliff/rock face behind it. when i first started the jigsaw I thought: oh! wouldn't it be nice to live in this cabin? all these nice trees, and you can climb the mountain/canyon thinggy whenever you want instead of driving 3 hrs to Yosemite!

but now after 3 days of jigsawing, I'm thinking: OMG let me never see the real cabin man, i swear I'll burn it to the ground, and all the !@#$%! trees with it.

ok i take that back. i love trees. i'll just burn the cabin.

hm. the sleeve label on my quiksilver tshirt says on the back: "Our Roots Run Deeper". huh? roots? deeper? than what? what roots? I'm not a plant. i refuse to be even metaphorically associated with one.

was really bored and tried to go to pinkshoefetish.blogspot.com, but it wasn't there anymore! apparently i'm Really behind the times, and daphne teo is no longer blogging after being hounded by hecklers criticizing her blog, her brain, her way of life etc. Eh. wah cor man. what's this? wtf did she ever do to those people for them to call her all those horrible names and denouncing her for living her shopaholic, 'decadent' lifestyle? See lah, now she shut down her blog, what am i gonna read for fun? where else can i find pics of expensive shoes, handbags and cosmetics and wonder in amazement and plot about how I could spend all that $$$?

This further confirms my belief that SINGAPORE IS TOO DAMN SMALL. people are so wu-liao they have nothing better to do than be mean to other people and pass all kinds of judgements. *sigh*. but obviously I also have nothing better to do. sitting here on my ass whining and complaining.

am cranky becos Aileen n her friend said yesterday that they might make Tiramisu but they never called me for the hand mixer and they're going away tmr to some church in Redding so I MIGHT NEVER GET MY TIRAMISU!! AARGH!!! calamity!

*deep breathing exercises*

i'm pondering a name-change to Dong(1) Fang(1) Bu(4) Bai(4) [ie. the Invincible East]. it has a nice ring to it, yeah? and i just saw the movie and she was cool! [although in the story she's actually a He who castrated himself to obtain superpowers--- how come in chinese kungfu movies the bad guy always has to castrate himself to obtain superpowers? does that mean that women are inherently more powerful already? or does it mean that women are evil? but cannot be becos the bad guy was already evil and male b4 he castrates himself. i think it's just a stupid chauvinistic concept that the evil guy is SO EVIL that he would even sacriface his most precious asset, ie. his manhood. anyways. in his case i think becoming a woman is the best thing that happened to him. geez. to become so pretty and have Jet Li fall in love with you? wah. I also want to castrate myself and learn superpowers............... ]

anyways. I digress. read 'Wicked' by Gregory Macguire. It's good! everyone shd read it. need to find something new to read. 'Guns Germs and Steel' isn't really doing it for me. have been trying to read it for the past 4 mths and it's going really slowly. any recommendations?

Walt Whitman

Was watching this DVD the other day: L.I.E. (long island expressway)

about this 15 yr old boy whose mum died and dad is getting arrested by the F.B.I. and he's getting gay vibes from his best friend and is robbing houses with him but one of the owners catches him n who turns out to be this extremely cultured ex-spy who is also gay and likes to have young boys. (!!!)

all in all, kinda screwed up. And I'm not sure if the title L.I.E. is trying to say anything but I don't think any of it is a lie. In fact, it's a pretty honest film. I guess the expressway just played a major role in the movie.

but there's some nice poetry in there, cos this 15 yr old likes poetry and writes some too. Once, in the car with the ex-spy, he quotes this excerpt frm Walt Whitman:

Demon or bird! (said the boy's soul,)
Is it indeed toward your mate you sing? or is it really to me?
For I, that was a child, my tongue's use sleeping, now I have heard you,
Now in a moment I know what I am for, I awake,
And already a thousand singers, a thousand songs, clearer, louder and more sorrowful than yours,
A thousand warbling echoes have started to life within me, never to die.

O you singer solitary, singing by yourself, projecting me,
O solitary me listening, never more shall I cease perpetuating you,
Never more shall I escape, never more the reverberations,
Never more the cries of unsatisfied love be absent from me,
Never again leave me to be the peaceful child I was before what there in the night,
By the sea under the yellow and sagging moon,
The messenger there arous'd, the fire, the sweet hell within,
The unknown want, the destiny of me.

Walt Whitman wrote this about a pivotal experience in his life, that of watching a mockingbird singing futilely for its mate (who had disappeared, probably died). And this episode apparently further pushed him along the path to becoming a poet.

I checked out other stuff by Whitman, but they're all 'oh glory to america' kinda things. all about how wonderful the US states/ farmers toiling/ wheat/ liberty etc are. *grin*. it's interesting. He even writes this:


Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you,
that you be my poem,
I whisper with my lips close to your ear,

I have loved many women and men, but I love
none better than you.

O I have been dilatory and dumb,

I should have made my way straight to you long ago,

I should have blabbed nothing but you, I should have chanted nothing but you.

I will leave all, and come and make the hymns of you;

None have understood you, but I understand you,

None have done justice to you, you have not done justice to yourself,

None but have found you imperfect, I only find no imperfection in you,

None but would subordinate you, I only am he who will never consent to subordinate you,

I only am he who places over you no master, owner, better, god, beyond what waits intrin- sically in yourself.

*grin*.... first time I've seen a love poem to a poem....

The bell tolls.
It's five p.m.
On Christmas Eve's eve.

I'm heading home
Alone
Always, alone
As will forever be.


I think of her, her smile
A vision of beauty.
Her heart of yearning
Her soul, a spark
to kindle what could have been.

But I am
Alone.
Still, alone
And will forever be.

Joy to the World

Dear Ms. Teo:

Thank you for your email. I am sorry you found the handling of your claim unacceptable and appreciate the opportunity to review your claim.

After going over all the information submitted with your claim, we have decided to reverse our previous decision and issue payment for your claim. Our check will arrive shortly.

We also appreciate this opportunity to make amends and thank you for choosing United for your travels.

Sincerely,
Becky Baran
Baggage Claim Representative
United Airlines

________________________________

From:
Sent: Tue 12/13/2005 11:48 PM
To: Baran, Rebecca [HDQLZ]
Subject: lost baggage, ticket number 1601138055258



Dear Ms Baran,

I have just received your nice letter, denying liability for my lost
baggage. The reason stated in your letter is that I did not report my loss
within 24 hours of my claim. Let me explain to you the exact circumstances:
I DID report my loss, immediately when I arrived at SFO on Aug 8. After 2
weeks of not hearing from United, I finally managed to get through to your
1800 baggage claim number (after being on hold for 1 hour). The nice lady on
the line told me that my claim was never filed. I then drove 30mins to SFO
to figure this out.

When I got to SFO with my claim ticket, the guy at the desk told me that
even though I had the ticket paperwork, somehow I wasn't in the computer
system. He hypothesized that this was because the claims clerk probably
forgot to press "ENTER", thus never filing my claim. He assured me that this
time, he will press 'ENTER' and my bag will be found.

After 3 days, I managed once again to get through to your 1800 number. The
nice lady on the line very nicely told me that they again have no record of
my file. Seems like the nice man at SFO forgot to press 'ENTER', despite his
assurance to me. She then placed a priority trace on my bag. When I called
again later that evening, I was very relieved to hear that you guys FINALLY
have me on file. Unfortunately, my bag was still missing.

It took United another MONTH to contact me regarding my claim, and another
TWO MONTHS to mail me my claims form. And this was only after many phone
calls and multiple, multiple emails, all expressing my UTMOST DISAPPOINTMENT
with United.

And now, I've received your letter to say that I was LATE to file my claim
and that due to MY negligence, you are denying liability for my claim.

I humbly beg you to reconsider. The inefficiencies of your staff has caused
me much emotional distress, not to mention the financial losses I have
suffered due to my need to buy new clothes, books, luggage etc to replace
the missing ones. Please help me restore some measure of faith in United
Airlines.

I look forward to your favorable reply soon. If you are unable to help me,
please let me know how I can contact someone (your manager? vice president?
MD? CEO?) who can.

Thank you.

It rains again!!

Oh Joy. It's gonna snow in Tahoe tmr! I'm going skiing again!

so boring in lab. got work but too xian to do. *moan* *groan*. Guess who I picked for the lab's secret santa gift exchange: the undergrad who's been stealing and contaminating all my tubes!! ARRGH! moral dilemma. Lisa thinks I shd get him a nice clean box of tubes. I think that's kinda mean..... I'm not that evil n vindictive, right? hm. I think i shd get him a dirty box of tubes instead. oh, oh. mebbe i shd get him a box of gloves, so that when he next steals my tubes, he won't contaminate the whole box.....

sigh. dun wanna go for lecture. but I shd, yar? will drag myself there now. *deep sigh*.... oh, the dreariness of my life..... =X

Altoids

I like the Altoids Tangerine Sours. they really taste like tangerines! not to be confused with tamarinds, which in my opinion is far less desireable.

Am TAing this quarter. my duties include

1) conducting section once a week (to go thru the lecture material n problem set)
2) grading problem sets, midterms n finals
3) making up 2 problem sets + answers
4) conducting a 'cellular n molecular techniques in immunology' seminar
5) office hours 1 hr/week

so far it's been ok. sometimes hectic. like now. just finished grading 120 copies of question 5 of the midterm, and setting this week's problem set. Am now trying to come up with the problem set answers. I realised that it's such a bitch of a problem set! Damn annoying questions, requires checking the notes n the textbook n some critical thinking. It seemed more fun when I was making up the questions..... =I..... got so bored I decided to blog again.

Oh, Lisa printed this black pepper crab recipe off some visit s'pore website! so we tried cooking today! **grin**.... first step: deep fry crabs in hot oil. sounds simple. heat up oil till hot. add crab pieces. big mistake man. the crab was fresh frm washing (ie. it still had water droplets on it), so the hot oil just started ERUPTING like crazy. Both of us jumped back like 12 feet. I was seriously worried that the oil will set something on fire and the whole kitchen will burn down (like Jason's kitchen last year).... fortunately it finally subsided to a quiet splutter, and our kitchen was safe again. Wah cor. stupid recipe. trying to kill us, man. never warn people... wait kena sued.... =X.... basket.

so that was drama #1. drama #2 was also during deep frying. after the first volcanic piece, all other pieces we first dried on paper towels. The next one was quieter. However, the crab legs Spasmed while frying! it's true! it was jerking about, all over the place, like it was still a live crab! we got kinda freaked out. **shudder** wonder why it did that?? expansion of the meat inside the legs?

but the rest of the cooking went well. And the crab turned out really authentic! (though slightly undercooked) we were very impressed. we should have filmed a home-video of the whole event. Such a monumental occasion. Our first black pepper crabs! of course, the real test is to wait till tmr, and see if everyone's stomach is still ok.

we're gonna try chilli crab next week. but this time got prima packet. no need to pound black peppercorns. and no more deep frying.

Do woop, do woop

am TA-ing this quarter! for the undergrad Immunology class...... need to think about how to keep people awake in class... also need to think about how to keep ME awake in class...... I'm thinking of buying a big bag of candy, and doing like a mini pop-quiz every section. people who answer get candy. but that's gonna be expensive..... hm. wonder if I can get the prof to sponsor....

it's a 2.15pm section some more.... sure fall asleep.... =(..........

am taking cantonese! yay! have already learnt useful stuff, like how to scold people, and to ask whether the girl u just met is pretty or not. hope to progress to how to order food (esp dim sum), and being able to understand the cantonese parts of Kung Fu Hustle.

i wanna stand with you on the mountain,
I wanna swim with you in the sea.
I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me..........

**sigh**. dunno why, the song started playing in my head. like during that one Math lecture where Luz made me listen to it at least 9 times... I like the song, though. seems so carefree and school-less.... If only I could go now to the top of some mountain (a real one hor, not Bt Timah Hill), drink in the view, feel the sun and the wind, and just be Away From It All.

too bad. back to my messy little room.

eh, my 'voices of scholars' thinggy is up online! googled myself today and it was the first hit! *beam*.... they didn't edit it at all! though somehow my email address didn't come out. small disclaimer though, it's not entirely true, not all the time...... it's like, super positive and pro-research. I had to eat a lot of chocolate b4 I could write it..... =X..... see lah, Astar is making me fat.

TIRED

Jomo: 'cos I'm very tired.... =(..... hard to do anything when one is all wrapped up in tires.

bright point in life: Discovered how to put air into my car tires and read the tire pressure! *heh* how loser am I????????? there's this gauge that pops out of the air pump thinggy in the gas station! like one of those arcade games where u get this huge hammer to bash the little guy that pops out.

am finally starting to sell my warehouse stuff:

whiteboard $8
microwave $15
bike $50

space to walk around in my living room: Priceless.


watched the movie 'Kinsey' last night. on dvd. Liam Neeson plays Al Kinsey, US scientist in the 50s who went ard interviewing people about their sex lives. It's pretty warped. so Kinsey was brought up in this super conservative household/society. America apparently was in some kind of sexual black hole. eg. people thought that masturbation was not only sinful, but deadly. Kinsey, a zoologist, feels that sex is normal and biological. starts to interview people about their sex lives, realises that married, heterosexual sex is not the only 'normal' kind of sex. Premarital, extramarital, homosexual, animal etc sex is also prevalent. And hence also 'normal'. nothing wrong with them. just biology. That's fine, i guess. but he then goes on to have an affair with his male student. then he tells his wife. Wife is upset. He explains that it's natural. It's just sex. he continues the affair.etc.

dun wanna spoil everything for ppl who want to watch the movie, but let's just say that he and his students and spouses begin to engage in ALL SORTS of sex. in the end however, the orgy kinda breaks down. (surprise!) he realises that the relationship b/w Love and Sex is more complicated than he had thought.

no obvious definite conclusion in the end, except he seems to have reconciled his conflict with Love, Sex and his wife. how exactly, not sure.

I thought it was a very interesting movie. Not the usual hollywood love fest. thought-provoking, especially since I'm sort of a biologist(?). yes we are but animals etc. but then what of love? but there are examples of couples and affection in other animal species as well. and then how about morality? masturbation is normal, so prohibiting it is ridiculous? Extramarital sex is also prevalent but it's considered bad? double standards?

but i guess the difference there is that masturbation is a personal thing whereas when you have an affair you hurt the other person in the relationship? so when u hurt other people's feelings it's bad? so if your spouse doesn't care then it's ok?

hhhm. I dunno man. read a report that 25% of men unknowingly raise children that are not biologically theirs. wow. that's a lot. I guess that's American men, not worldwide men, though. wonder if it's the same figure worldwide? probably it's lower in those african societies where the men sew their wives' vaginas up....? but hey, if you tear it you can always just sew it up again, right?

*ouch*

The Soldier -- Rupert Brooke

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England's, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home.

And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

I like poems about death..... =P.... somehow Life never seems so sweet and precious until you're about to lose it.

I need to write a bio for A*Star, to put on their 'Voices of Scholars' webpage. HOW??? I don't wanna to write a gushing I-Love-Research-Thank-You-Astar report! But what can I write instead? I was thinking of a what-I-have-learnt kinda thing but that seems so arrogant and pompous. how? I dun think my usual self-deprecating humor will look good on the webpage.... they probably want some sort of confirmation that the S'porean tax money is grooming brilliant scientific minds.... but I'm not sure I have a brilliant scientific mind, nor am I quite sure how to give an impression that I possess such an asset. writing a 50 page report on the life habits of apple snails would have been so much easier. =X

crap.

Depressed.

sigh... so. update on my luggage fiasco:

personally drove up to SFO last night to try and resolve this issue. there they checked and looked at my lost luggage form etc. then the guy said, "Where did you file this claim?"

"Right here. at this very desk."

"Oh... because you're not the system at all. the claim was never filed. I'll have to file the claim for you now."

"Erm. Huh? What happened?"

"Well...." *shrug* "These things happen. Maybe the other person forgot to press 'Enter', so your info never got into our system. I'll file the claim now. Call us in 2-3 days."

"Call this 1800 number? It's really hard to get through. Last time it took me 1hr on hold."

"Yeah. we're really short-handed. Nothing we can do. Try calling very late at night."


WHAT THE F!@K!!!!!


I still have no contact lenses, and I WANT MY MAGGI INSTANT PORRIDGE.

*deep breathing exercises*

oh, the glorious experience of air travel.

Roald Dahl

From the New Yorker (July 11 & 18, 2005):

There is evidence that (Dahl) thought about childhood in a way that placed struggle and conflict at the center of things, much as psychoanalysis does. "I have very strong and almost profound views on how a child has to fight its way through life and grow up to the age of, let's say, twelve," Dahl told a BBC interviewer in 1988. "All their lives they're being disciplined. When you're born... you're an uncivilised creature. And... if you are going to become civilized and become a member of the community, you're going to have to be disciplined. Severly... And who does the disciplining? It is two people. It's the parents.... Although the child loves her mother and father, they are subconsciously the enemy. There's a fine line, I think, between loving your parents deeply and resenting them."

(Dahl's stories) inspire in children a sense that life "is not only a pleasure but an eccentric privilege." Dahl's critics fail to recognize that his stories don't merely indulge a child's fantasies-- they replenish them.

[the italics are my own]
------------------------------

*grin*.... it's always enlightening to have someone tell you why you like something.

Who is John Galt?

The hero of Ayn Rand's bk Atlas Shrugged. That book has cost me at least 6 hrs of time that could have been sleep. =X

I like it, but it's a bit too preachy. It's a philosophical treatise cleverly disguised as a work of fiction. Her characters go on and on in long tirades that span pages and pages. after a couple paragraphs into their speeches the characters (in my head) morph into Ayn Rand standing at a podium of some philosophical conference. I mean, Come ON. I get the point after a while. No need to take me for an idiot, and repeat urself another 25 times.

I dun wanna talk about the anti-communism theme of the book, 'cos after pages and pages of it, I've gotten pretty bored. but there were other issues that were interesting.

Frm the bk:


"Do you still need proof that I'm always waiting for you?" she asked, ... ...
"Why is it that most women would never admit that, but you do?"
"Because they're never sure that they ought to be wanted. I am."


"Are you saying," he asked slowly, "that I rose in your estimation when you found that I wanted you?"
"Of course."
"That's not the reaction of most people to being wanted."
"It isn't."
"Most people feel that they rise in their own eyes, if others want them."
"I feel that others live up to me, if they want me."


"Money is only a tool... It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires... Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek."

[hhm. so true. like vacuum cleaners are just tools. You think that once you get one, life will be perfect. You dun realise that YOU have got to drive the damn thing around in order to get a nice clean carpet.]

tick tock

it's august! i feel my last days at home marching inexorably away. was at MP library Monday, and stumbled upon 'Fascist Rock' by Claire Tham in the S'pore section. had wandered over to that part of the library, not really expecting much, and was pleasantly surprised after reading the first page. Apparently, she was only 23 when 'Fascist Rock' was published. I was amazed at how everything her protagonists said found a resonanting chord within me. It's mostly about young Singaporeans contrained by the small-ness of everything on this island. you wanna blast urself into outer space but you force urself to conform to the ideal of good grades and (fairly) good behavior because it's the only way u're gonna get out.

sometimes i think that nothing i do will matter. no matter how well i do at stanford, i'm gonna end up in Biopolis, a dutiful and well-oiled cog in the singapore machinery. a statistic to be wielded by politicians in their never-ending need for self assurance.

but i really like being home! mebbe it's cos i'm on holiday?

am reading 'DUNE'. it's good! a classic.

there's a line in it that sez something like "you can only miss people, you can't miss a place." i dunno. I do sorta miss places, i think. i guess u can argue that places can trigger memories of people whom you miss... but not always, yar? like i've heard people dream wistfully of their bed at home, so comfortable n big n pillow-ed. surely there're no people associated with that? whatever lah. too technical.

random fact. reader's digest say that everyone dreams in colour. it's just that sometimes you dun remember the colour. or dun register it. my question is: how do they know that?????!?? can they look into ur mind when u dream??? how many subjects did they test to get this result?? it kinda scary that they can just state this morsel of knowledge with such confidence.

Home!?!

Am once again back in our sunny island, set in the sea. I've always wondered about that phrase in the song. obviously if you're an island, you'll be set in the sea, right? well... i guess there are islands in lakes too.

saw the national day parade rehersal yesterday. got corner grandstand seats, 3rd row. I actually didn't want to go. not because I'm an unpatriotic, anti-govt, cynical person (i'm fairly patriotic, i think). but because i think it's just some meaningless, garish affair to give the retired people in the CCs something to do and spend a lot of taxpayers' $$ in the meantime. less parade, more fireworks, i say. but hey, if it makes people happy... however, it was really cool yesterday when the mobile column of tanks, artilery, combat engineer vehicles etc. trundled by the grandstand. on board were soldiers in camo U, wearing camo face paint, pointing M16s at the crowd. very impressive when the barrel of this huge tank is bearing down on you. At the risk of sounding like some gushing, o-biang civilian: WAH! SO COOL! hey, if this is what they were willing to parade in public, think of all the other top-secret stuff they're NOT showing us! (i hope.) so. now I do see some point in going for NDP (ie. to gawk at the tanks), but i still dun understand why people would queue ovenight to get tickets.

The Chinese in America

Finally finished reading the Iris Chang book. hm. her overarching message is "We are Americans too".

I remember my freshman year at Hopkins. When I got back home ppl asked me whether it was hard to adapt to America. I told them it wasn't the Caucasians that I was surprised by. I've seen too many Hollywood movies not to be prepared for White America and its college life. The thing that shocked me most was that the ABCs were American, not Chinese. I guess I had expected that everyone who looked like me would think like me and talk like me, but I realised that it wasn't true at all.

but then again, i guess people in China might be surprised that I look Chinese but don't think nor talk like them either. And when I watch the Olympics or whatever, it never strikes me to support China more than I would any other team (apart frm S'pore). And I would definately root for S'pore over China. even though they clearly trash us in everything.

so yar. pretty ironic that ABCs and other Asian Americans have to fight to be recognised as American. up to now I still have trouble thinking of my chinese friends as American, or Canadian, or German, etc. In contrast, one never suspects that the African Americans harbor secret loyalties and will steal nuclear secrets for Africa.

I think the way to change this perception is definately via the mass media. ABCs are supremely underrepresented in Hollywood, broadway, TV, etc. they are really not being portrayed as normal Americans. if there's an Asian in the movie, it's almost always a role written specifically for an Asian. Like Harold in Harold and Kumar. or Jackie Chan. or Jet Li. and somehow the Asian characters are always superbly irritating. U usually end up hoping that in the next scene the Asian is gonna get hit by a bus, and the movie can move on. Why can't the normal, non-irritating guy/gal-next-door just happen to be Asian?

Goodbyes

tis the season for goodbyes, it seems. so many friends graduated this year, just sent wushu frens off to the airport (but will see them in 12 days!!), Kenneth n Peiyee are moving to NYC, will only see Cheryl for 3 days in S'pore.... sigh. I think Kenneth n Peiyee's move was the biggest surprise. Thought that they would be working in SF for the foreseeable future. i guess not, huh? n with Howesiang going home too.... no more mountains for me?

i think i'm getting old, man. making new frens every year is tiring. cannot seem to muster enthusiasm for next year.

on the bright side, Peiyee introduced me to the wild and wonderful world of food blogs. Apparently, there are all these online foodies that write about their restuarant, cooking, random eating, cookbook etc experiences, frm all over the world. quite cool. I very very briefly entertained the thought of blogging about food too (since I'm actually somewhat obsessed with it), but trashed the idea immediately. No one will want to read about my leftovers-freefood-failed instant noodles-mango gummy-cereal diet. it'll get boring Really Quickly. But I just want to make a quick tribute to the inventors of cereal and chocolate. You guys (or gals) ROCK. without these innovations, I would waste away into nothingness.

just read 'Ender's Game'. It's really cool!! Not that plausible though. but hey, that's why it's Science Fiction, yar? makes u think. can we really manipulate children like that? hhhmmmm.... *evil grin*...... now I know what kind of cult I need to form..... need to target genuis kids. then can rule the world.

my poor butt

Pulled some kind of butt muscle last friday. A fren was helping me with a side stretch, when I heard this 'RIP', felt something tearing, and then it became Much easier to stretch. OH HOLY SHIT. I have been hobbling ard for the past week, the first 2 days couldn't sleep, and I still can't really do much wushu. =(. on a brighter note, injuring my right leg is strengthening my left leg! so mebbe i'll have balanced legs after this.

Tonight I discovered injured butt-bliss. sitting on a tennis ball placed at a strategic position is better than 2 million OSIM massage chairs. better than chocolate. even better than durian gelato.

Am reading 'The Chinese in America' by Iris Chang (who wrote the Rape of Nanking, and killed herself after writing the Chinese in America). It's a pretty interesting read, about (DUH) the Chinese in America-- how they first came, their place in American society, later waves of immigration etc. So, interesting tidbit: when the Chinese first started marketing Chinatowns as tourist attractions, they played upon the then-sterotypical view of Chinatown as a hovel of Chinese gangsters, opium dens, secret underground societies etc. In reality, much of this was already cleaned up. So the tour guides hired people to enact gang fights, act as opium addicts etc, and also decorated basements to look like secret temples and opium dens. Just for the tourists.

hhm. so. potential tourism idea? we could have a "S'pore Heritage Museum". Like Tang Dynasty, but smaller. Hire actors to be coolies and samsui women, recreate an opium den (and charge the tourists to smoke) etc.

For free, tourists get to
1) carry loads balanced on bamboo poles
2) build an attap hut
3) learn how to play chatek
4) pound their own belachan
5) use an abacus
6) do the bamboo dance

For an extra fee, they can
1) smoke something from an opium pipe (give them some laughing gas? for yet more money, they can keep the pipe)
2) get their 8 characters read by a fortune teller
3) get a rickshaw (not trishaw) ride around the museum


The museum cafe will be like a pasar malaam. There shd also be wax figures of Raffles and Farquhar.


JOMO: YES!! I want to play warcraft!!! do u have it installed? and the frozen throne expansion pack? and patched to the latest version? then drop me an msn msg with ur (n Tommy's?) IP address and I'll see if I can hook us up.

Busy busy busy

AARGH! so busy in lab. am running 2 expts at once, and the lab is moving, and I had a coffee n doughnut this morning so my nerves are shot AND I'm having a sugar high.

am now trying to lower my breathing and heart rate so that I won't screw up my expts and lose my work. mebbe I should count sheep.

in 3 mins I have to load my gel, in 20mins I have to wash my cells and run them on the cytometer, in 80mins I have to blot the gel, and somehow in the meantime I have to find some lunch and eat it.

ok gotta go.

Fountainhead

My Sony DVD RW drive (DRU-530A) has stopped working!!!! AARGH. dunno what happened. it was fine b4. i tried uninstalling and restarting but it still doesn't work. When u put in a CD or DVD it whirrs for a while then stops. The screen that used to pop up and ask u what to do with the CD doesn't pop up anymore. Windows explorer doesn't show any files on the drive (like i have an empty disk), but doesn't tell u that the drive is empty. Device manager sez the device is working properly. When I try to burn a DVD it sez 'The device is not ready'. I tried using the 'Force ASPI' program but that didn't work either. HHOOOOWWWW??? *howl*..... I am using WinXP, have an AMD 64bit processor. I want to die.....

on a side note. Have just read 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand. This book is evil. You have to fight every nerve in ur body and brain to stop reading it and go eat and take baths and whatever else normal ppl do. It really disturbed me too. All these things are churning ard in my head and I don't really wanna give away the whole plot. It's a book about power. Power over other people. and how to get it. Only I don't think everyone can be quite so easily manipulated? the book makes it sound so simple. I would like to think that people are not like that, or at least, that I'm not like that. But then I know that most times I just wanna be faceless within the crowd, and that the common opinion is useful because the best chinese restuarants usually have the most people eating inside. (This however, is not true of El Salvadorean restuarants in SF.)

I'm so glad I'm not a salesman. happy that I don't have to push products that people don't really want or need. that I don't have to cater to public opinion, not yet. when I push products, it's gonna be because they save lives. *sigh*...... how arrogant and moralistic is that? Such lofty aims when right now I still dunno if any of my expts are gonna work.

ok, fine. The Fountainhead is not actually a book about power. Ayn Rand used it to showcase her philosophy of the importance of the individual. but the part that most disturbed me was the power part.

The Dalai Lama is coming to Stanford in November. I wonder if he ever gets tired of life. It must be pretty irritating, needing to be reborn every couple decades. Especially when you're like, the most enlightened one we've got. does he think to himself: "Ok, this has GOT to be the last time. Surely I'll acheive enlightenment after THIS life."

i need sleep. I need to shower. I ME MY MINE. was thinking that this is a very self-centred blog. all about ME. but then, this is MY BLOG PAGE. so obviously it shd be about me, right? but is my universe so limited that all I can write about is myself? ugh. I think I'm just cranky because jomo has gone home to S'pore, my expts are once again NOT working, and I can't burn my DVDs.

Boston

Am back frm Boston. Exhausted. useful trip though. Stayed awake 50% of the time, of which only 20% was spent doodling, writing the alphabet, dreaming of eternal bliss etc. gained scientific knowledge, thought about what expts to do this month.

I'm becoming as paranoid as Joe. Was debating whether to record my newly-gained ideas here, but decided not to because
1) No one else is interested (even I'm not interested, sometimes)
2) what if some random person steals them and sets up MY biotech?

Boston is interesting. Nice city, beautiful parks, historic bldgs, houses look rustic in a quaint, good way. A lot of red brick, tall windows, black spire-like roofs. Not that many homeless people, either. Sure, they're there, but they won't stand on the roads and harass drivers like in Baltimore, and when u don't give them money they won't yell insults at u (like in B'more), and the ones I saw weren't lying in their corners reeking of alcohol and piss. Can anyone tell that I really hated Baltimore? But mebbe I was in posh downtown Boston and haven't really been to the sketchy areas yet. The outskirts are probably teeming with hobos. Can u also tell that I'm completely disillusioned about urban America? I swear it's the lack of sleep. I'm usually all bubbly and sunshine. plus I miss my xiao mei.

top 2 observations about Boston
1) Drivers are insane. Pedestrains are also insane. I forgot how much jaywalking is a part of East Coast life.
2) Dunkin Donuts is way more popular here than Krispy Kreme. In Boston, there're more DDs than Starbucks.

Weird Movies

have been watching a lot of weird movies lately.

Harold and Kumar-- 2 guys who crave White Castle burgers, and have a bizarre night getting there. Moral of the story: Big bags of weed look disturbingly fetching in pink cardigans.

Big Fish-- 1 guy traces the life of his father, the big fish. Moral of the story: People will still leave you even if you steal their shoes. They might come back later, though. Moral #2: Alcohol makes weird movies not so weird.

The Aviator-- Leonardo plays Howard Hughes, psychotic but brilliant visionary (Howard Hughes foundation still supports a lot of life science research today). Moral of the story: ummm... i dunno yet. still extremely freaked out by the whole psycho thing. just saw the movie tonight. he had the whole Lady Macbeth 'Out-damn-spot!' thing going on too. erm. if pressed, I would say that the moral is, er.... If you're completely cuckoo, intelligent and beautiful women are not gonna marry you.

also saw the movie 'Sideways'. Super boring. don't watch it. if u wanna drink wine come to SF and I'll bring u to Sonoma. free tastings, excellent Chardonnays.

G.Gate Bridge frm top of Angel Island. Little white fins in water are yatchs, not white sharks.

No Angels on Angel Island

Went to Angel Island on Saturday. It's near Alcatraz, on the bay. It's like the Ellis Island of SF-- all the immigrants go through there. It was also a quarantine facility.... (I wonder how long germs last out in the environment.... *rampant imaginings of TB, leprosy etc thriving in water droplets in the air, being breathed into my lungs*) Walked up to Mt Livermore on the island. It's taller than Bukit Timah! my philosophy here in the US is to only climb hills that are taller than Bt Timah. Gd view of the bay.

ok ok, got side tracked again. wanted to say that Angel Island reminded me of this documentary I saw about Mary Mallon (Typhoid Mary). Mary was a cook in NYC, and a healthy carrier of typhoid. The Health Dept traced several outbreaks to her and forcibly captured and quarantined her.

so the issue here is whether it's ok to lock up infectious people. Sick people mebbe. they shd be resting anyways. but healthy carriers? or just mildly sick people? i guess for typhoid it's not a super-big problem, becos transmission is usu only by ppl who prepare food (so if u're a cook u're screwed). but what about SARS or sth that can be spread thru' the air? wear mask? what if it's a virus? i think even masks are not effective then. who's the guy that talked about the greater good? Mill? something about it's good if produces greatest utility. I mean, to put it bluntly, she murdered 3 people and injured like, 50.

*sigh* I hate morality questions. I guess one thing is definately true: It sucked to be her. 'though I think i usually take the heartless kill-them-all side of the fence. pro-choice, pro-euthanasia, pro-death penalty etc. why? I dunno... mebbe cos when I was young my mum told me everyday about how she's gonna kill herself at 45 'cos she doesn't wanna get old n useless. But won't that make me cherish life instead? Or mebbe becos of that I've been psycho-ed to think that ppl that are old/useless/sick/dangerous shd all die. mebbe it's the biologist in me, the 'survival of the fittest' ideology. mebbe i'm just an evil b!#ch.

on a completely irrelevant note: when u're in a developing country, even the bottled water is not safe to drink. someone did a study and there's just as much bacteria in the bottles as there is in tap water. drink the carbonated water instead. The acid in there kills the bacteria. Moral of the story: in India, brush ur teeth with beer.

Epitaph

In 2000 I got this book of poems (published by the BBC!), and there was one I really liked. I got reminded of it today because a friend of a friend's grandma passed away. So I was thinking of this poem and how I want to have it on my tombstone. But I guess now no more tombstones in S'pore. On my urn then, i guess. or whatever they're using when I die. I couldn't remember the exact lines so I googled it and it's on like, a gazillion websites. So mebbe it's not so special, huh? but whatever. I still think it's good. ANyways.



Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

-Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932.

GONE CASE

Wah lau I'm really lousy. not even 2 days into my icecream fast and I have broken my vow of celibacy. but it's not Really My Fault (yar rite). my dorm organized FREE COLD STONE ice cream. how to resist i ask u? I got 'Banana Split Decision', a heavenly concoction of Banana ice cream, banana, strawberries n fudge. in a waffle cone. *extreme bliss*. only one notch below a warm Krispy Kreme doughnut + coffee. *heaven*

I have however renewed my vow to stay off ice cream for this week.

whoop! I'm going to Boston next week!!! but it's for a 4 day scientific conference =(. sometimes I think i'm in the wrong field. Reading immunology papers is the shortest road between me and the sandman. I'm convinced that i'm gonna spend 4 days in Boston asleep in various conference rooms. WHY can't people make their talks more interesting?

Immunity is actually pretty cool. Instead, people fill their talks with super-boring details of endless chains of protein phosphorylations and dark little gels and graphs Filled with super-confusing spots.... AARRRGH!!!! if I wasn't completely unconscious in 5 mins, i'll be gashing my teeth and pulling out my hair at the agony of it all. But the WORST part is that one day i'll be presenting my own little obscure graphs and pictures. I can feel it. I already have a file full of fuzzy black spots. They actually look quite interesting, but only AFTER u drink urself into oblivion. I guess if i ever give up science I have a back up job as psychologist, administering those ink blot tests.

A crab!! testing out my bloggerbot. Frm SY's farewell crabboil

Quarks

My adopted xiao mei asked me about quarks the other day. Since I was reading the Bill Bryson book (see post below), I have shamelessly plagerized his explanation. but we all know that as long as one references one's sources, it's not plagerism, just a good literature search.

Particle physics is an amazingly confusing field, where no one really knows what's going on, because the subatomic realm is governed by completely different rules than in the macro-scale. In secondary sch they bluff u that protons, neutrons and electrons are the smallest things there are, and apparently that's not true at all.

So. this is the currently accepted theory: Quarks are even smaller particles held together by other particles called gluons and together they form protons and neutrons. Leptons form electrons and neutrinos (neutrinos are v.v.v.v. tiny particles given off during nuclear fusion in the Sun). Quarks n leptons together are called fermions. Bosons are particles that produce and carry forces n include photons and gluons. There's another one called the Higg's boson, which may or may not exist; it was invented to endow particles with mass.

what all the above means, I haven't the faintest clue. Once physicists manage to build even larger particle accelerators, they will no doubt discover yet more 'fundamental' particles to confuse the rest of us and spend billions and billions of $$. They contend that this will help us understand the meaning of life.

I think my labmates are damn hilarious. Last year's secret santa gifts include: a shot-glass checkers set, a 'Man-pillow' (Pillow shaped like a man's torso, wearing a shirt, so man-less people can sleep with one), bottle of Jaegermister (PJ's favourite beverage), McDonald's vouchers.

There's also this guy in the lab that every unattached girl AND guy is madly in love with. He gets all these groupies that casually drop by the lab in the desperate hope of catching a glimpse of him. I think I shd start selling tickets. Watching him $10/hr; talking to him $20/hr... etc. we can split the profits. anyways, he owes me ice cream.

Speaking of which, I'm vowing to stay off ice cream for a week. just to see if I can. Shaowei says that his experience fasting brought him closer to God. I wonder if staying off ice cream will be equally spiritual. I guess it's not really that drastic. Staying off bubble tea will be much much harder. Erm. I'm not ready to take that step yet.

I'm reading 'a short history of nearly everything' by Bill Bryson. Wah cor. It's not short at all lah. super thick book. and still it doesn't explain everything. I'm just past the big bang and plate tectonics and life has begun. And now all I know is that it's kinda more complicated than I'd imagined. Just leaves me unsatisfied with his explanations. I need to know more. I think the biggest leap of faith is that at first there was nothing. Then there were all these things, which exploded (big bang). HUH!?! WTF!?!? I need to go sit by the ocean and stare at the sky n think about this. (heh. another excuse to slack off.)

high on caffeine

I can't believe it's raining. This morning I was just thinking about how great the weather has been and how I forgot my jacket but it's probably gonna be ok because there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

HHRMPH.

the weather is toying with my emotions. And now I might get a cold biking home in the damn rain and wind. ah well. getting sick is very slimming. good weight loss program. resisted the lab ice-cream trip this afternoon. very proud of myself.

am taking a Wilderness Medicine class. It's a great class. learn something useful in every class. like splash your face with the cold water a couple minutes before you think you're gonna capsize when you're kayaking out in the cold. gets u over the hyperventilation reflex when u fall in. also also, Leonardo Di Caprio dies while whats-her-face lives in the movie Titanic. because u lose heat 30times faster in water than in air. The class is taught by Eric Weiss. Check out his book for more wild and wondrous survival tips.

see? great stuff. also highly recommend the book "Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation". Excellent and essential natural history information. *grin*

15mins before I have to get up n stain my gel. whoop. EtBr is gonna get me skin cancer in 10yrs... but meanwhile, it's good stuff man.

I wanna go home.

warmed-up noses

SO. I attended this self-defence course the other day. One of the techniques recommended is to push your palm into ur attacker's nose. This will hopefully cause much pain and more imptantly, cause the eyes to tear (impairing sight). The instructor sez this is why boxers have to rub their noses to 'warm it up' before a match, so that when they get punched in the nose their eyes don't water as much. Is this true? sounds bizarre that u can actually warm up ur nose.

finally finished writing up my proposal with all the pretty pictures, have finished most of my hw for tmr, and most of my proposal ppt presentation. Man, I Hate Work. I wanna go eat Brazilian BBQ. apparently the waiters walk ard with HugE Skewers of MEAT, which they slice liberally unto ur plate.... sounds good. unfortunately my appetite seems to be shrinking lately. My rmmate made chicken rice for dinner tonight, I had 3... ok ok 4 pieces of chicken at 7pm. It's now 12.45am and I'm still stuffed. Had to check out the symptoms of stomach cancer for hw today and feeling full after eating v.little is one of the symptoms!! I'm doomed.....

Hawaiian Mangoes SUX

the title sez it all. Buy Philippino mangoes everytime. The Hawaiian kind is not as sweet, the dried stuff tastes like sulphur etc etc. But when one is trying to write up a thesis proposal, anything mildly edible is gonna be eaten... I have to get me some gum.....

However, I think I'm finally done with the first draft of my proposal. I can't bring myself to read through that disgusting piece of sh*t so I can proofread it. Basically you say the same thing 3 times. First in the abstract, u give a brief summary of why n what u wanna do. Next in the backgrd, u give more info on why it's important to do what you wanna do, and refresh everyone's memory on what the hell it is again. In prelim studies, u tell them what u already did. Finally in research design, u give step by step instructions on how ur next 4 yrs are gonna be like. After a while, u sound more and more like a broken record. At the end of the 20 pages, u're SO SICK of the entire project, u wanna quit and go be a monk in Tibet.

Very Important Question: when u buy water at Safeway, what's the diff between 1)'purified drinking water' and 2)'purified spring water'? Is #1 purified sewage water? or purified reservoir water? One would assume that #2 is from some spring some where. but where exactly? The Ganges?

bored.

I'm really bored. Nothing seems to be interesting anymore. Lab is boring, wushu is boring..... I'm being sucked into the pits of ennui.... dunno how to get out. I wanna go skiing but I have no money.... plus I'm too lazy to drive. sigh. How now, brown cow? Mebbe I shd start playing Warcraft 3 again. At least I can have something to look forward to each day. I feel like one of those floating people in Chagall's paintings... drifting along amidst different hues and colors, things swirling around. Mebbe if I dig myself a nice deep dark hole, and move in, I will miraculously discover the meaning of life.

anyways. talkingcock.com had a pretty funny article about 'if singapore were to host the olympics', and the modifications we'd have to the sports. I think the best one was the modification to weight lifting: from a kneeling position, athletes have to carry their bosses' private parts. *grin*. *sigh*... sometimes when I think about S'pore, I feel very sad.

NEW POST!!

heh heh. finally decided to post again.

have been rather busy. taking one class (am appalled that they are subjecting ME to the indignity of homework), have to write up my thesis proposal, expts never seem to work but have loads of stuff to do in lab anyways.... sigh. so I decided that the best course of action now is to procrastinate as much as possible. Hence this new post.

I dunno if I should do this whole psuedo-intelligent social commentary thing that has been the recurrent theme of most of my previous posts. Seems like all I'm doing is displaying my embarassing lack of knowledge and amazing arrogance. But perhaps this is the true me.... someone who pretends to know a lot about everything and spouts the most ridiculous nonsense.... But then again I dun wanna post about my daily activities (horribly boring), my current favorite song/ food/ computer game, my personality test results etc etc... so perhaps the social commentary thing is the way to go. lemme know yar?

So my topic du jour is... um.... can't think of one just yet. In the meantime....: Big news this week in lab! my mice gave birth!! Now I have little blind pink things crawling around the bottom of the cage!!! I oscillate wildly between thinking that they are disgusting larger-than-life worm-like creatures, to marvelling at the miracle of life etc/finding them the cutest things ever. The mother mouse doesn't seem to notice that they're there. She kinda walks all over them. I thought she's suppose to provide them with milk!?! They're definately not gonna be able to eat the normal mouse food... they can't even see for pete's sake. Anyone with mouse breeding experience pls let me know....

Um. can't sleep yet, still waiting for my hair to dry. I truly believe that hairdryers are evil and overdry hair, hence damaging my precious locks. Also, I'm super-lazy and hate the noise they make. Someone should invent a super-absorbant towel that instantly dries hair. That'll be awesome. Right now the best way to avoid this problem is to just not have hair.... only problem is that I'd look terrible with no hair. *shudder*

Last night I dreamt that Iwas floating. Just couldn't keep myself on the ground. Monica says that floating dreams mean that one is having a sexual fantasy. !?!?!?! I don't understand..... if you're having a sexual fantasy, won't you just have a sexual fantasy? I don't see how floating is sexually fantastic. It was actually a pretty scary dream. I had to be really careful, else I would just float up and up and up and get lost in space. It's actually a recurrent dream... I've had the same one a coupl'a times already. Any alternative interpretations? Am also taking a poll: When you dream, what colour are your dreams? Multi-colour? black/white? sepia?

Lemme know,
Pearline

Merry Christmas!!
Although. I saw this thing on CNN about un-Christianing Christmas. Apparently, there's a movement to remove all Christian connotations about Christmas. Eg. calling the tree a "Holiday Tree". According to these people, Christmas has become such a widely recognised holiday that even non-Christians celebrate it. Hence, for these non-Christians, it's discriminatory and even offensive to be bombarded by all the Christian propaganda during the holiday. Afterall, the whole Santa thing isn't Christian, and that's the part that most people (even Christians) associate with Christmas.

Well... I'm not sure what to think about this. Seems pretty radical to me. If I were Christian I'd be really bemused. I guess these strange people can go around calling the tree and the holiday whatever they want. but don't tell Christians that they should no longer call it "Christmas".

Back to School/Lab

ah. stuck in lab on a saturday evening... how sad is that? well... I guess if I'm on campus during the weekend it's good to get something productive done vs just bum ard.... now that I'm NOT TAKING CLASSES (yay!) and have no homework to do.... *mwuahahahah*

at least I have JAMBA JUICE. excellent fruit smoothie. delicious yet seemingly healthy. I think my current flavor is Mango Mantra or something equally Zen-like.

have been trying to learn golf. It's not as easy as it looks. pretty frustrating actually. initially it's like trying to learn chinese. Damn bloody impossible. now that I'm actually hitting the ball correctly 1% of the time, it's still like squeezing mana from heaven. why on earth do people like the stupid game? geez. so i read somewhere that golf was invented by the Dutch. good thing I didn't go to St Andrews to study abroad. would have been damn cold, and not even the birthplace of golf. Although might have caught a glimpse of Prince William. *sigh*. what's this human obsession with royalty all about anyways? just perfectly normal people with some misplaced sense of superiority and the privilege of being sponsored by British taxpayers. hm.. well.... at least the UK doesn't have the socialist welfare problems of the rest of Europe. I wanna travel to Scandinavia. but heard that it's really expensive.

got to go. end of my incubation time.

business plans

um. am constantly thinking of new and interesting lobangs that will make me money..... so my latest idea is to get into the book review business. isn't it great? people send u books, u read and write a review, and get paid! good deal, and get free books too. unfortunately, I'm not sure who would actually pay for my opinion, important as it is... i've googled 'paid book review' and didn't get many hits.... a lot of sites actually wanna see a CV. which kinda sucks. so mebbe I won't act on this lobang afterall.

Mark said that we shd set up a business together. interesting, except all my business ideas involve illegal activity. and i've promised my dad to stay on the right side of the law. darn. shd change the law lah. and does two lefts make a right? as we all know in San Francisco, 3 right turns = 1 left turn.

hhmm. i think any business idea right now has to be web based, so that we can run the business and still go to school.... a previous idea was to provide a Green library DVD pickup service, to help ppl return their DVDs to the library in order to avoid the $5/day fine. but the logistics quite hard... how can i pick up DVDs frm the dorms without needing the ppl to be home? perhaps a central dropbox for each dorm?

how about an essay writing service? breaks the Stanford honor code, but not the law.... but that involves real hard work.... bad idea. a homework databank? also against the honor code, i guess. plus might not be too useful if the profs don't recycle hw questions.

i know. make little GPS trackers for ppl to put on their bikes! no fear, even if it gets stolen, just report to the police and track it down.... good for ppl who have $500 bikes... they prolly don't mind paying another $50 for peace of mind? how much are GPS trackers anyways? must go ask Tzewee if this is possible.

aiyah. i think i'll just stick to my karang guni business till autumn. but am open to any good suggestions...

day8
today is slacker day!!! spent the day at the beach, either on a tire out on the water, or on a deckchair on the sand.... *beam*... pity got bitten by sandflies.... the bites didn't seem bad. little raised bumps with red dot in centre..... but a scratch or two and they become big pus-filled things.... =(.... so. don't even think about touching sandfly bites.

found a 7/11 yesterday, but 7/11 prices are higher here....

day9
back to bangkok! yay, going home soon. got a hotel in bangkok, walk ard a bit, try again to find a club. we go to some place near suhumvit, supposed to be very happening. er.... still all bars, no clubs. quite disappointing. raining some more. in the end we give up and decide to eat instead. had a papaya salad that had mucho chilli padi... extremely spicy, Sumin n me were both in need of serious fire fighting...

day10
last day last day. need to maximise. spent the morning at Tops supermarket! buying instant mee, peanuts, random stuff. in the afternoon decided to we had to do our tourist duty and go to the Wats. went to the Grand Palace, but found that tickets were 200baht. too expensive, we were very very very low on cash.. just take pictures lah. Went to Wat Pho to try again. ah. this time tickets only 30baht, can do can do. there's this massage sch in Wat Pho, were we all got 1/2 hr massages... they were Excellent. best massage i've ever had. Thai massage is a mix of pressure point massage n assisted yoga.... felt relaxed for the rest of the day.... until we tried to get thru thai passport control and learnt that we needed to pay a 500baht airport tax. In Cash. Each. I think we had about 5mins to boarding and 200baht total between us. it was a mad dash to the atm, thru passport control and helterskelter thru the terminal to get to the gate... sigh. so boh-seh. but did finally get on the plane and back home!!! note about air asia... we like their uniforms, esp the guys'. slightly oriental, but got style....


thinking back on the trip, hmph. didn't think the travel diary would take so long. *grin*... definately felt good to be on holiday, loved it that thai food is oh-so-spicy. chilli flakes or chilli padi always provided on the side. very pleasant after the dearth of chilli in the US.... but i was very glad to be home. haven't been home in a while, shdn't go running about over SEA. =)

Little girl (NOT ME) in Hmong village

day5
hm. can't remember what happened beyond finally managing to wake up at 10am instead of some early ungodly hour. caught another sleeper train to Bangkok. we got bottom bunk beds this time. definately more spacious.

day6
Chatuchak market!!! wanted to get there early (9am) so that we can be first customers and be able to drive hard bargains etc etc. walking to sky train station when this cab said that he wld get us there for only 20baht, as long as we waited for him to get petrol.... or something like that. so we get on, n he drives us aimlessly ard b4 bringing us to this jewellery export centre. apparently taxi drivers get 5 free litres of petrol for bringing in tourists that stay for more than 15 mins or buy some jewellery.... definately a bad choice to bring us man.... perhaps seeing our jewel-less state the taxi driver surmised that we were def in the market for some? anyways. so we didn't stay long enuff so he didn't get his petrol. so he brought us to a different jeweller(!) and said he wld get us to chatuchak for free if we got him petrol. I guess gas prices being at ard 20baht/l, it's def a gd deal for him..... wah cor i didn't know this kind of scam existed in Bangkok.... although this has good milking potential.... we cld go ard offering ourselves as petrol-obtaining accomplices for free taxi rides....?

anyways. finally got to the market. wah it was HUGE. selling everything. was wandering ard when we noticed that all the shopowners were kneeling on the floor, facing towards the walkway. really weird. then all this commotion started and we realised that some Thai princess was visiting the market. A whole bunch of ppl walked by, accompanied by guards, soldiers, policemen etc.... caught a glimpse of the princess. very normal, wearing a blue suit. was a bit disappointed. but then again can't really expect her to go ard in traditional ceremonial dress, right?

so. she finally left the market, n all was back to normal. i got jeans, t-shirts, a backpack etc etc etc. completely depleted myself of the 2500baht i brought out. thank heavens i didn't bring out more money, else also sure gone. saw the cock fighting section. hhm. the fighting was ok i suppose. never seen cock fighting b4... but it seems pretty cruel to fight them for sport. saw other cocks in cages, most of them were nursing battle wounds... at least i kill mice for some obscure purpose that can be sort of rationalised. next we saw the puppy section. OMG they were SO CUTE!! *grin* really paiseh jostling with the little kids to pet n play with the puppies.... but Hey, cldn't resist.

finally got back to the hotel, went out in search of a club. went to Khao Sun rd, suppose to have night life. yar i guess got lar, but it's all bars n ppl watching soccer. no dance floor. went to Suan Sorn(sp?), near the infamous PatPong area, to try again. Still no luck, cannot find dancing. only saw stuff like 'Pussyfoot club' or 'Go-go Bar', subheaders like 'our exciting hostesses will bring u to the moon' etc etc. all very enticing i suppose but ah... not what we were looking for.

day7
bus to Koh Samet, 124baht. quite high class bus, fare inclusive of biscuits n coke n water n pirated vcd screening of King Arthur in thai. 3 hrs later, catch ferry to NaDan, then Vong Duern beach. ferry cldn't land on beach, so this little floating thing ferried us over, 10baht/person. fine. we land on beach, this official sez we're in a national park. entry fee 200baht/person. WAH COR. qiao za!! esp to poor folks who spent all their money at chatuchak, really hurts! no mention AT ALL in the guidebooks. *grumble* *mumble* *rant* *complain*

explored the beaches, quite nice. sand very white, n fine. picked a place for seafood. not too bad, but somewhat far frm our lodgings. went to Tak's Bar. quite a happening place. many ang mohs. then had to get back. in the dark. no streetlights. was pretty nervous. 7th mth some more. got lost for a bit, didn't know how to get back without scrambling across rocks n potentially falling into ocean.... finally found a track through some undergrowth... Kelvin was leading, and used Sumin's camera for light. he wld occasionally take a picture, just to use the flash. Man Oh Man i always expected to see longhaired women in white standing just in front of us..... *shudder*. dat was the longest walk i ever took. Ever. finally made it back though. decided to switch accomodations to be closer to the night life, so we won't have to do that ever again.

day4
went on a day trip with this tour company. first stop was an elephant ride through the jungle! we had two baby elephants with us-- a male about 1 yr old, very independent, wanders ard by itself + a female a couple mths old, gets stopped by small branches, and very distracted by wayside leaves, needs much prodding by its mother.... we bought bananas to feed the elephants! the baby elephants needs the bananas to be peeled b4 they will graciously accept our humble offerings... elephants have very small eyes. 2 small dots on the sides of their heads.... no wonder their eyesight is so bad.

also went to a Karen village and saw a waterfall. not bad not bad, although the elephant wins, tusks down.

day3
The Queen's birthday!! National holiday and Thailand's mother's day. so i guess if u're printing the Thai calender u can't print too many yrs ahead.... in case Thailand gets new royalty.... then all the holidays gotta change? hhm.

Tom brought us ard to see
1) Wat Chiang Mun: very old temple, set up when some King decided to set up the city of Chiang Mai (New City) 700yrs ago. The Chedi's base is madeup of 15 stone elephants.... there are also 2 small buddhas.... 1 marble 1 crystal... apparently really old and sacred... so back in the days when Kings go ard conquering other Buddhist kingdoms, they take the most sacred Buddha statues and bring them over to their own kingdom.

2) umbrella making factory: not bad, the artists really skilled, no need to sketch anything, just paint incredibly intricate designs on umbrellas, or your jeans, caps, bags etc etc.

3) cave/temple: huge stalagmite and multiple Buddha statues.

4) hot springs: hhmm.... 5 mins of immersing ur feet in the hot water is Quite A Feat. (all puns intended). bought eggs in a little rattan basket to boil in the water. delicious with soy sauce.


day4 reports to follow....

*crack fingers*
ok, need to blog about my Thailand trip b4 I forget everything (which could happen Really Quickly).....

day1
arrive in Bangkok. bewildered cos everything in Thai. flight was filled with daiti and thinking about people.... (ok ok mainly about 1 person-- you know who u are).. thankfully Sumin n Kelvin seem to know what they're doing. took train to Lampong Station. got conned into taking 100baht tuktuk to Wat Phra Keow (Grand Palace). stupid place was closed, and anyways we weren't wearing shirts with sleeves and pants with legs, so couldn't have gone in. wandered the place looking for FOOD. thought that Bangkok streets shd be thronging with delicious edibles, but no where to be found. some local guy got us a tuktuk to this other temple (with a big buddha statue-- very National Geographic) and back to train station. Only 30 baht! next time will not get cheated.

day2
train arrives in Changmai. the top bunk of the sleeper train is somewhat cramped... good thing i don't take up much space.. we meet Tom, who is a friend of Kelvin's friend. he's some super high flyer who actually speaks decent english(!), has a BA in PoliSci, doing another BA in Law, working parttime at the U, volunteers as a DJ in this english radio show. he gets us a taxi up to the mountains, and we go to this Hmong village and to Wat Doi Suthrap (i think).

The village is interesting. it's pretty westernized (we see ppl wearing fake adidas trackpants on motorcycles lurking about), but there are all these other ppl wearing bright traditional costumes wandering the streets. we suspect they take turns to wear the costumes and walk ard for the tourists. the street is lined with shops selling handicrafts. saw a tiger penis for sale (the guy assured us it's real). it's pretty long. we wander further into the village to see this small waterfall cascade. the place looks like a Malaysian kampong. The temple is ok too. the 300 steps up weren't as bad as expected. got free samples of fried pork skin. crispy, crunchy, but very bad for horizontal over-acheivers. View of changmai frm the top is much touted. but come on. it just looks like a city. not too impressive. the gold-plated chedi (pagoda) is indeed very big. was more interested in the multiple-buddha-oil-offering-thinggy. so there are 7 different buddha statues, each with an oil lamp in front of them. u put some $$ into a donation box, and get to pour oil into the lamps. was wondering what the difference b/w the buddhas were, y do some get more oil than others? they are all the same buddha right? there was this 'museum' also at the temple, which also had the different statues, labelled monday-sunday. so the statues represent what Buddha does each day of the week? (one shows him meditating, one with animals knelt b4 him, one of him on a Naga throne etc) so u just pour oil on the one rep the correct day of the week? *shrug*.... mysterious. need to ask someone.... mebbe leonard will know....

went back to Changmai U (CMU)-- toilet has no toilet paper!-- Tom brings us to a guesthouse run by his fren. pretty good. only 200 baht/rm/night. got aircon but no toilet paper. apparently toilet paper is not a neccessity in Thailand. had to buy some frm 7/11.

Went to Warorot market, where Kelvin buys And Consumes some fried crickets and locusts. I refused to try any.... sometimes i regret not trying.. he sez they taste pretty good... but i remember the black oily things and am really thankful for my presence of mind. heh heh. many other stalls with all sorts of stuff. a lot of fried foods. most commonly fried banana and fried fish.

at night we visited the radio station!!! very exciting becos have never been in a recording studio b4. we got to go on air live and everything!! *beam*.... the show was to encourage Thais to speak english. people call in to request songs, and are forced to chat a little in English.

after the show we went to the night bazaar. the food court had free live Thai traditional dance performances. looks very Indonesian, except mebbe costumes and hand positions slightly different. ate 'sukiyaki'-- some chicken and kangkong and various ingredients fried with egg. pretty oily. not that good. we also had papaya salad and tom yum soup, both excellent. saw this guy selling flowers carved frm soap. really intricate, smelt good too =).... orchids were particularly beeyoutiful.

ok lah. break to sleep b4 continuing with this travel diary....

i'm coming home i'm coming home i'mcominghome!!! yay. jump for joy.

Shuzhen borrowed the entire series of BlackAdder frm the library. FIVE DVDs!! *rolls eyes* it's really funny... some of it Really Painful (like watching Jack Nicholson in 'anger management') but can't help laughing. some parts also crude.... loads of references to genitalia.

wah. don't play play man. think the British are all stiff upper lip and what not but erm.. hey... BBC showed the Teletubbies. proves that they're actually perverts who like to scare little children.......(!?!)

heh. no offense to any Britons. Oxford probably one of the best times in my life. But it rains far too much for one island.

ello, summer! goodnight, moon! there are chickens in the trees.

so i was thinking about fortune cookie msgs, and what I would write.... i figured that one can grp the msgs into a few categories:

1) random (a penny saved is a penny earned) sayings/advice:
- when it rains, expect to get wet.
- do not pick up random green glowing objects
- if an asteriod collision is imminent, leave earth
- frogs in wells are probably really hungry

2) good news:
- you will get the last cookie in the cookie pot
- the time is ripe for world domination
- it's time you learnt the truth, son. You have superpowers and are greater than any man. Oh yar, beware that kryptonite.
- (spin off frm Homer Simpson's cookie) you will make good love today.

3) bad news/insults (which will never make money):
- you will be bitten by a venomous carnivorous plant and develop multiple open festering wounds.
- someone has discovered a way to turn shit into oil. Congrats! You're now worth a million bucks.
- there are few lifeforms lower than pond scum, but you've definately made it.


ah... ran out of inspiration. might think of other choice selections later... any additions are welcomed. just drop me an email.

Whoop! got a new template! have to learn some html.... can anyone recommend a good tutorial?

Raffles Cafe (damn zai s'porean restaurant in fremont) is gone.... *sob*.... quality of life here has definately gone down a notch.. good thing bubble tea is still around.

HAVE TO DO WORK. which is why i'm wasting time on my blog at this exact moment. am gradually sliding into a procrastination spiral of death. feels good. *grin*

have also decided that my current boss is the guy i wanna work for for the next (hopefully) 4 years... *happy dance*.. check out the lab webpage: http://www.stanford.edu/group/utzlab/ it's awesome.... this lab has loads of potential, the people there are incredible, and the PI is a fantastic person. but the lab is Really Short Of Space..... and PJ (da boss!) is putting me on hold for the moment.... =(... hopefully we get lab space in the near near future and I can finally have a permanent home on campus. all i need now is a thesis project, a valet and a personal trainer--- then time for Complete World Domination.

was irradiating mice the other day, got bored, so cut out a piece of tape, stuck it to the wall, wrote 'Happy Tape' and drew a smily =). after that was completely horrified because i had morphed into Lucinda. Luz: you'll probably never see this but I hope u're doing well n i miss u loads. disclaimer: miss everyone else too but luz especially at this time becos of the tape. oh n of course missing jomo is always a constant ache in my heart =)

mebbe more after i finish work.

*grinz*.... mark just sent me the link to gerri's live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/szelin107/ . The april 20 post is especially worth reading.... *beam*.... JC was fun.... must admit (grudgingly) that the class journal entry was one of mark's more inspired moments..

so... the roast chicken frm safeway is really good! *grin* enlightened discovery.... i wonder how they do it... mebbe i shd try......... ARGH. *shudder*... i'm turning into a housewife!! *horror*..... aiyah.... it's simply a survival mechanism, right? need to eat what.

se(4) diao(1) [return of the condor heroes] is on! have to go watch... till later.....

whoa. long time no blog. thought of a few brilliant excuses (eg. my cat ate my computer)... but figured no one will believe me because:

1) i don't have a cat
2) everyone knows that snakes eat computers, not cats.


am inspired to train harder for nanquan again.... can get much faster n smoother... but might end up with even more monster thighs.... hmm.... bad tradeoff?? aargh. need to run more.... lazy lah.. but after a tremendous struggle with my inner glutton, managed to stop myself frm buying icecream at safeway.

heard that they're cancelling the victoria secrets fashion show!! calamity!! cos of compliants after the whole janet jackson super bowl thing about sexuality on TV.... =(... what the F#$%!!! just show the fashion show later at night lah! i mean... it's pretty blatent sexuality, can censor frm kids if need be.... not like the sudden nipple thing that janet pulled.... sigh. the msn.com article has a comment frm some womens' grp that applauds the move, cos it's telling women that they have to be thin. i think the woman saying that has GOTTA be fat. if u're not fat but obsess about weight to the point of bulimia or some other condition it's probably because u have self-confidence issues already. either because of some horrible childhood influence or horrible boyfriend or something. if u're really fat then mebbe u Should Try to lose weight. definately not healthy to be obese. mebbe it'll inspire people to work out.

blame fast food companies, not fashion shows. i think my awareness about my weight is healthy and not self destructive.


so anyways. current lab rotation doesn't involve any mice! (yay) am making a humanized antibody. anyone with experience and advice, do drop me an email.

craving bubble tea.......

hey! found a new thing to do while procrastinating.... i was wondering about what one of my classmates did while at college, so i did a search on her on her sch's webpage. nothing. tried google. nothing. got bored so i did a search on myself on google.... it was pretty cool, i'm on 5 of the top 6 hits... =).... slight ego boost there. i guess that comes from having a pretty unique name.... *grin*.... but i like to think that of all the Pearline Teo's in the world, i probably have the most web presence..... didn't manage to google my blog though..... hhrmph.... mebbe i need more hits.... now my new goal in life is to get more google pages while searching for myself.......

back to work.

eerm.. saw this TV commercial by Clorox saying that they DO remove dirt. am very confused. am also convinced that if it really does clean, it definately has more than just bleach.

anyways. lack of blog postings is due to actually having work to do this quarter, being disgusted that all i can talk or think about is killing mice, and my general apathy with life, school and now even wushu. gotta get myself out of this rut.... i know. i'll get myself a new life. swap bodies n life with someone else for the day..... this is why having a twin will be useful.... on the bright side, i have seaweed. yummy seaweed. went kayaking and saw giant kelp. they were HUGE. MASSIVE. scary. i hope my seaweed isn't made of those.

had lab meeting today, where food was provided by this japanese post doc. we had those small fish-shaped salted cracker thinggys that i really really liked when I was a kid.. not goldfish. shaped like different fish, also got starfish and cuttlefish shapes.. =).. *grin*. second childhood.

so apparently i can take this 'medical mandarin' class, then work as an interpreter in the Stanford Hospital.... so cool right?? not only will i be able to say 'chronic obstructive pulmonary disease' in chinese, i get paid to do it.... but now i have no time... perhaps next year.

i miss my 'yi3 tian1 tu2 long2 ji4' on TV....

so. read Jason's blog about using Clorox to do laundry and it's miracle houdini stain thing. this made me decide to immediately post here to clarify one thing about bleach. IT DOES NOT CLEAN CLOTHES. it just makes everything look white/colourless, giving the False Impression of cleanliness.

it's true. those bed sheets and socks and shirts that look spotless actually have hidden residual dirt!! so. i object to bleach on moral grounds. if i'm gonna wear residual dirt around, i wanna know it. *grin*... heh... isn't this great? a moral justification for my laziness.

so. next time you put on 'clean' white socks, Think Again.

School Again. mebbe I'm getting too old for sch. F*** that life-long learning shit.

Went for one of those brain scan psych experiments! the MRI was very loud, n got to stay still while biting on this mouth-bit thing n trying not to salivate all over myself. but the money is Good. instant cash too. will def do this again when I feel poor. =)

Was just wondering if Fe2+/Fe3+ is ferromagnetic.... how did Magneto do the sucking-all-the-iron-out thing in Xmen2? where's a periodic table when u need one? all I have are coffee tables and dining tables.....

I miss my holidays. can't wait for spring break.

was filling out the form for the expt, and realised that i've been in school for 15 years! wow! obviously I haven't learnt anything because I'M STILL HERE. was watching 'Mona Lisa Smile' where Julia Roberts is one of those challenge-your-perceptions teachers who (surprise!) inspires and opens the minds of her students etc etc. geez. in my next life I wanna be a art history prof. all u have to do (apparently) is look at art n say why u like/dislike it. plus u get to look like julia roberts. what a deal.

hm. was sidetracked. wanted to say that perhaps real and useful education is about becoming more self n world-aware etc etc... but i'm sure they survived pretty well back in those cavemen days w/o sch... why did we have to build all these complex layers of society so that ppl have to spend so much time in school.... but then I guess engineering n medicine n nuclear physics etc needs some time to learn... oh BLAH. can't find a good reason to destroy all schools. *sulk*... mebbe tomorrow.

whoa. realised it's been a while... now that it's the holidays, i actually have stuff to do instead of procrastinate n avoid work. =)....

new n exciting developments:

I sedated mice!!! a life-changing experience, i assure u. involving
1) holding the mouse at the back of the neck without getting bitten
2) inserting the needle at the right spot (ie. the mouse instead of ur fingers)
3) delievering the correct amt of sedative (so it's KO-ed but not dead)

all technically challenging and extremely scary. =(

*shudder*

the mice are really cute. but one wrong move n they become lean, mean, finger-biting machines. squirmy too.


Oh yeah, merry christmas n happy new year to everyone! Spent Christmas in Tahoe. snow tubing is awesome. snow is pretty amazing too. if only it wasn't so cold. The guys (mark, len n rivai) are dangerous ard snow... a generous chunk might appear in ur face or behind ur neck at ANY TIME.

BBbbrrr.

Harlow. spent the weekend on my butt, trying to snowboard. thank goodness it was a powder wonderland, pretty forgiving to people who insist on banging their behinds forcefully against the mountain. Am not gonna start on the eternal snowboard vs ski debate, but my personal opinion is that SKIING IS BETTER. eternal gratitude goes out to Sean Wat, for his loan of knee and wrist guards. eternal gratitude also to the plentiful powder, which is the reason why i'm here typing at my computer instead of in hospital with multiple concussions and broken buttbones.

I GOT TO TOUCH MICE TODAY!!!! They were unconscious, but still warm n tiny n fuzzy n breathing. *beam*... so cute. they didn't smell too good though. and they were squirmy n belligerent and tried to bite the post-doc who was injecting them with anesthetics.. I think I get to inject them on thursday......... eek. There's the whole mouse-ethics thing which I'm kinda divided on n don't wanna go into... just like the snowboard-skiing debate.... and like the Saddam-Iraq debate..... I bet Bush Jr AND Senior are both really happy.

Jr: "Look dad! I got Saddam!! Now u can go kick his ass like he kicked yours in 1991!!"
Snr: "Good Job Son, see I told you this whole Iraq pseudo-terrorism thing would work out. Now mebbe u'll keep your job for another 4 yrs. Down with Democracy... erm... Democrats."

LOTR 3 is coming out in TWO DAYS! yay.

hm. well. another week goes by. brings to mind this quote frm Macbeth:
Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps on this petty pace from day to day;
Till the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted Fools,
The way to Dusty Death.
etc etc.

thank goodness the quarter is ending-- new hope that next quarter this whole petty pace thing will be NO MORE.

so my aunt is getting me to help her buy human growth hormone. for everlasting youth. =). wow. I hope when I get old, i won't want to buy HGH too. I mean. I may get fat, old and ugly (unlike my aunt who is tall and slim and really not that wrinkled-- why she wants HGH is beyond me), but I hope I never realise it. or mebbe I'll know it but won't care because everyone loves me regardless =). but how effective is HGH anyways?? unless we can reactivate our telomerase and never need to enter replicative senescence, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! I'm sorry. stark naked truth. get over it.

This whole cloning thing..... I dunno man. I don't think it's the solution to eternal youth. If your brain dies and you get a genetically identical brain, is it still you? how about if you only get a partially new brain? say they manage to get new cells to replace those lost in Alzheimers.....?? Will they make the same connections? do you get a new consciousness? is it gonna be like an alien taking over part of your brain?? heh heh.... I've read too many Animorph episodes... (it's a great series, btw, by KA Applegate, about aliens taking over brains. True it's targeted at 10yr olds, but it's still pretty good.)

anyways. enough crap for today. stay tuned.

ps: needle and thread is officially removed frm my wish list. replaced by Personal Maid Service.

Ooops. missed my self imposed dateline (wednesday) to post on this page. ah well. *shrug*. the beauty of being able to break self-imposed datelines. Although I do have a good reason. Instead of pretending to do hw and actually playing solitaire (as per usual), I was watching "Fucking Amal" on my computer. Unfortunately, the version I downloaded was in Swedish. WITH NO SUBTITLES. It was still really good. No porn, despite it's name. Realised later that Amal is supposed to be a small town in Sweden, and that the teenagers there are really bored. Hence the title. It's actually a good teen flick. about these two gals who may or may not be homosexual. i think (but can't be sure due to my lack of Swedish) they end up still somewhat uncertain about the whole thing. But how on earth did I end up downloading the completely Swedish version of a movie I knew nothing about? I dunno. I think it was one of those 'hey-this-guy-on-kazaa-is-downloading-really-fast-lemme-check-what-else-he-has-and-download-everything-he's-got' things.

so. no offense to the Swedes, but I think French still sounds a lot better. Although I recognise one or two words that sound like French, and 'mama' and 'papa' is also used..... hm. isn't weird that so many languages use 'mama' and 'papa'???? even chinese....... i wonder if it's the same in arabic and the African languages....

I STILL HATE BIOCHEM