From the New Yorker (July 11 & 18, 2005):
There is evidence that (Dahl) thought about childhood in a way that placed struggle and conflict at the center of things, much as psychoanalysis does. "I have very strong and almost profound views on how a child has to fight its way through life and grow up to the age of, let's say, twelve," Dahl told a BBC interviewer in 1988. "All their lives they're being disciplined. When you're born... you're an uncivilised creature. And... if you are going to become civilized and become a member of the community, you're going to have to be disciplined. Severly... And who does the disciplining? It is two people. It's the parents.... Although the child loves her mother and father, they are subconsciously the enemy. There's a fine line, I think, between loving your parents deeply and resenting them."
(Dahl's stories) inspire in children a sense that life "is not only a pleasure but an eccentric privilege." Dahl's critics fail to recognize that his stories don't merely indulge a child's fantasies-- they replenish them.
[the italics are my own]
------------------------------
*grin*.... it's always enlightening to have someone tell you why you like something.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
Who is John Galt?
The hero of Ayn Rand's bk Atlas Shrugged. That book has cost me at least 6 hrs of time that could have been sleep. =X
I like it, but it's a bit too preachy. It's a philosophical treatise cleverly disguised as a work of fiction. Her characters go on and on in long tirades that span pages and pages. after a couple paragraphs into their speeches the characters (in my head) morph into Ayn Rand standing at a podium of some philosophical conference. I mean, Come ON. I get the point after a while. No need to take me for an idiot, and repeat urself another 25 times.
I dun wanna talk about the anti-communism theme of the book, 'cos after pages and pages of it, I've gotten pretty bored. but there were other issues that were interesting.
Frm the bk:
"Do you still need proof that I'm always waiting for you?" she asked, ... ...
"Why is it that most women would never admit that, but you do?"
"Because they're never sure that they ought to be wanted. I am."
"Are you saying," he asked slowly, "that I rose in your estimation when you found that I wanted you?"
"Of course."
"That's not the reaction of most people to being wanted."
"It isn't."
"Most people feel that they rise in their own eyes, if others want them."
"I feel that others live up to me, if they want me."
"Money is only a tool... It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires... Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek."
[hhm. so true. like vacuum cleaners are just tools. You think that once you get one, life will be perfect. You dun realise that YOU have got to drive the damn thing around in order to get a nice clean carpet.]
I like it, but it's a bit too preachy. It's a philosophical treatise cleverly disguised as a work of fiction. Her characters go on and on in long tirades that span pages and pages. after a couple paragraphs into their speeches the characters (in my head) morph into Ayn Rand standing at a podium of some philosophical conference. I mean, Come ON. I get the point after a while. No need to take me for an idiot, and repeat urself another 25 times.
I dun wanna talk about the anti-communism theme of the book, 'cos after pages and pages of it, I've gotten pretty bored. but there were other issues that were interesting.
Frm the bk:
"Do you still need proof that I'm always waiting for you?" she asked, ... ...
"Why is it that most women would never admit that, but you do?"
"Because they're never sure that they ought to be wanted. I am."
"Are you saying," he asked slowly, "that I rose in your estimation when you found that I wanted you?"
"Of course."
"That's not the reaction of most people to being wanted."
"It isn't."
"Most people feel that they rise in their own eyes, if others want them."
"I feel that others live up to me, if they want me."
"Money is only a tool... It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires... Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek."
[hhm. so true. like vacuum cleaners are just tools. You think that once you get one, life will be perfect. You dun realise that YOU have got to drive the damn thing around in order to get a nice clean carpet.]
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
tick tock
it's august! i feel my last days at home marching inexorably away. was at MP library Monday, and stumbled upon 'Fascist Rock' by Claire Tham in the S'pore section. had wandered over to that part of the library, not really expecting much, and was pleasantly surprised after reading the first page. Apparently, she was only 23 when 'Fascist Rock' was published. I was amazed at how everything her protagonists said found a resonanting chord within me. It's mostly about young Singaporeans contrained by the small-ness of everything on this island. you wanna blast urself into outer space but you force urself to conform to the ideal of good grades and (fairly) good behavior because it's the only way u're gonna get out.
sometimes i think that nothing i do will matter. no matter how well i do at stanford, i'm gonna end up in Biopolis, a dutiful and well-oiled cog in the singapore machinery. a statistic to be wielded by politicians in their never-ending need for self assurance.
but i really like being home! mebbe it's cos i'm on holiday?
am reading 'DUNE'. it's good! a classic.
there's a line in it that sez something like "you can only miss people, you can't miss a place." i dunno. I do sorta miss places, i think. i guess u can argue that places can trigger memories of people whom you miss... but not always, yar? like i've heard people dream wistfully of their bed at home, so comfortable n big n pillow-ed. surely there're no people associated with that? whatever lah. too technical.
random fact. reader's digest say that everyone dreams in colour. it's just that sometimes you dun remember the colour. or dun register it. my question is: how do they know that?????!?? can they look into ur mind when u dream??? how many subjects did they test to get this result?? it kinda scary that they can just state this morsel of knowledge with such confidence.
sometimes i think that nothing i do will matter. no matter how well i do at stanford, i'm gonna end up in Biopolis, a dutiful and well-oiled cog in the singapore machinery. a statistic to be wielded by politicians in their never-ending need for self assurance.
but i really like being home! mebbe it's cos i'm on holiday?
am reading 'DUNE'. it's good! a classic.
there's a line in it that sez something like "you can only miss people, you can't miss a place." i dunno. I do sorta miss places, i think. i guess u can argue that places can trigger memories of people whom you miss... but not always, yar? like i've heard people dream wistfully of their bed at home, so comfortable n big n pillow-ed. surely there're no people associated with that? whatever lah. too technical.
random fact. reader's digest say that everyone dreams in colour. it's just that sometimes you dun remember the colour. or dun register it. my question is: how do they know that?????!?? can they look into ur mind when u dream??? how many subjects did they test to get this result?? it kinda scary that they can just state this morsel of knowledge with such confidence.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Home!?!
Am once again back in our sunny island, set in the sea. I've always wondered about that phrase in the song. obviously if you're an island, you'll be set in the sea, right? well... i guess there are islands in lakes too.
saw the national day parade rehersal yesterday. got corner grandstand seats, 3rd row. I actually didn't want to go. not because I'm an unpatriotic, anti-govt, cynical person (i'm fairly patriotic, i think). but because i think it's just some meaningless, garish affair to give the retired people in the CCs something to do and spend a lot of taxpayers' $$ in the meantime. less parade, more fireworks, i say. but hey, if it makes people happy... however, it was really cool yesterday when the mobile column of tanks, artilery, combat engineer vehicles etc. trundled by the grandstand. on board were soldiers in camo U, wearing camo face paint, pointing M16s at the crowd. very impressive when the barrel of this huge tank is bearing down on you. At the risk of sounding like some gushing, o-biang civilian: WAH! SO COOL! hey, if this is what they were willing to parade in public, think of all the other top-secret stuff they're NOT showing us! (i hope.) so. now I do see some point in going for NDP (ie. to gawk at the tanks), but i still dun understand why people would queue ovenight to get tickets.
saw the national day parade rehersal yesterday. got corner grandstand seats, 3rd row. I actually didn't want to go. not because I'm an unpatriotic, anti-govt, cynical person (i'm fairly patriotic, i think). but because i think it's just some meaningless, garish affair to give the retired people in the CCs something to do and spend a lot of taxpayers' $$ in the meantime. less parade, more fireworks, i say. but hey, if it makes people happy... however, it was really cool yesterday when the mobile column of tanks, artilery, combat engineer vehicles etc. trundled by the grandstand. on board were soldiers in camo U, wearing camo face paint, pointing M16s at the crowd. very impressive when the barrel of this huge tank is bearing down on you. At the risk of sounding like some gushing, o-biang civilian: WAH! SO COOL! hey, if this is what they were willing to parade in public, think of all the other top-secret stuff they're NOT showing us! (i hope.) so. now I do see some point in going for NDP (ie. to gawk at the tanks), but i still dun understand why people would queue ovenight to get tickets.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
The Chinese in America
Finally finished reading the Iris Chang book. hm. her overarching message is "We are Americans too".
I remember my freshman year at Hopkins. When I got back home ppl asked me whether it was hard to adapt to America. I told them it wasn't the Caucasians that I was surprised by. I've seen too many Hollywood movies not to be prepared for White America and its college life. The thing that shocked me most was that the ABCs were American, not Chinese. I guess I had expected that everyone who looked like me would think like me and talk like me, but I realised that it wasn't true at all.
but then again, i guess people in China might be surprised that I look Chinese but don't think nor talk like them either. And when I watch the Olympics or whatever, it never strikes me to support China more than I would any other team (apart frm S'pore). And I would definately root for S'pore over China. even though they clearly trash us in everything.
so yar. pretty ironic that ABCs and other Asian Americans have to fight to be recognised as American. up to now I still have trouble thinking of my chinese friends as American, or Canadian, or German, etc. In contrast, one never suspects that the African Americans harbor secret loyalties and will steal nuclear secrets for Africa.
I think the way to change this perception is definately via the mass media. ABCs are supremely underrepresented in Hollywood, broadway, TV, etc. they are really not being portrayed as normal Americans. if there's an Asian in the movie, it's almost always a role written specifically for an Asian. Like Harold in Harold and Kumar. or Jackie Chan. or Jet Li. and somehow the Asian characters are always superbly irritating. U usually end up hoping that in the next scene the Asian is gonna get hit by a bus, and the movie can move on. Why can't the normal, non-irritating guy/gal-next-door just happen to be Asian?
I remember my freshman year at Hopkins. When I got back home ppl asked me whether it was hard to adapt to America. I told them it wasn't the Caucasians that I was surprised by. I've seen too many Hollywood movies not to be prepared for White America and its college life. The thing that shocked me most was that the ABCs were American, not Chinese. I guess I had expected that everyone who looked like me would think like me and talk like me, but I realised that it wasn't true at all.
but then again, i guess people in China might be surprised that I look Chinese but don't think nor talk like them either. And when I watch the Olympics or whatever, it never strikes me to support China more than I would any other team (apart frm S'pore). And I would definately root for S'pore over China. even though they clearly trash us in everything.
so yar. pretty ironic that ABCs and other Asian Americans have to fight to be recognised as American. up to now I still have trouble thinking of my chinese friends as American, or Canadian, or German, etc. In contrast, one never suspects that the African Americans harbor secret loyalties and will steal nuclear secrets for Africa.
I think the way to change this perception is definately via the mass media. ABCs are supremely underrepresented in Hollywood, broadway, TV, etc. they are really not being portrayed as normal Americans. if there's an Asian in the movie, it's almost always a role written specifically for an Asian. Like Harold in Harold and Kumar. or Jackie Chan. or Jet Li. and somehow the Asian characters are always superbly irritating. U usually end up hoping that in the next scene the Asian is gonna get hit by a bus, and the movie can move on. Why can't the normal, non-irritating guy/gal-next-door just happen to be Asian?
Goodbyes
tis the season for goodbyes, it seems. so many friends graduated this year, just sent wushu frens off to the airport (but will see them in 12 days!!), Kenneth n Peiyee are moving to NYC, will only see Cheryl for 3 days in S'pore.... sigh. I think Kenneth n Peiyee's move was the biggest surprise. Thought that they would be working in SF for the foreseeable future. i guess not, huh? n with Howesiang going home too.... no more mountains for me?
i think i'm getting old, man. making new frens every year is tiring. cannot seem to muster enthusiasm for next year.
on the bright side, Peiyee introduced me to the wild and wonderful world of food blogs. Apparently, there are all these online foodies that write about their restuarant, cooking, random eating, cookbook etc experiences, frm all over the world. quite cool. I very very briefly entertained the thought of blogging about food too (since I'm actually somewhat obsessed with it), but trashed the idea immediately. No one will want to read about my leftovers-freefood-failed instant noodles-mango gummy-cereal diet. it'll get boring Really Quickly. But I just want to make a quick tribute to the inventors of cereal and chocolate. You guys (or gals) ROCK. without these innovations, I would waste away into nothingness.
just read 'Ender's Game'. It's really cool!! Not that plausible though. but hey, that's why it's Science Fiction, yar? makes u think. can we really manipulate children like that? hhhmmmm.... *evil grin*...... now I know what kind of cult I need to form..... need to target genuis kids. then can rule the world.
i think i'm getting old, man. making new frens every year is tiring. cannot seem to muster enthusiasm for next year.
on the bright side, Peiyee introduced me to the wild and wonderful world of food blogs. Apparently, there are all these online foodies that write about their restuarant, cooking, random eating, cookbook etc experiences, frm all over the world. quite cool. I very very briefly entertained the thought of blogging about food too (since I'm actually somewhat obsessed with it), but trashed the idea immediately. No one will want to read about my leftovers-freefood-failed instant noodles-mango gummy-cereal diet. it'll get boring Really Quickly. But I just want to make a quick tribute to the inventors of cereal and chocolate. You guys (or gals) ROCK. without these innovations, I would waste away into nothingness.
just read 'Ender's Game'. It's really cool!! Not that plausible though. but hey, that's why it's Science Fiction, yar? makes u think. can we really manipulate children like that? hhhmmmm.... *evil grin*...... now I know what kind of cult I need to form..... need to target genuis kids. then can rule the world.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
my poor butt
Pulled some kind of butt muscle last friday. A fren was helping me with a side stretch, when I heard this 'RIP', felt something tearing, and then it became Much easier to stretch. OH HOLY SHIT. I have been hobbling ard for the past week, the first 2 days couldn't sleep, and I still can't really do much wushu. =(. on a brighter note, injuring my right leg is strengthening my left leg! so mebbe i'll have balanced legs after this.
Tonight I discovered injured butt-bliss. sitting on a tennis ball placed at a strategic position is better than 2 million OSIM massage chairs. better than chocolate. even better than durian gelato.
Am reading 'The Chinese in America' by Iris Chang (who wrote the Rape of Nanking, and killed herself after writing the Chinese in America). It's a pretty interesting read, about (DUH) the Chinese in America-- how they first came, their place in American society, later waves of immigration etc. So, interesting tidbit: when the Chinese first started marketing Chinatowns as tourist attractions, they played upon the then-sterotypical view of Chinatown as a hovel of Chinese gangsters, opium dens, secret underground societies etc. In reality, much of this was already cleaned up. So the tour guides hired people to enact gang fights, act as opium addicts etc, and also decorated basements to look like secret temples and opium dens. Just for the tourists.
hhm. so. potential tourism idea? we could have a "S'pore Heritage Museum". Like Tang Dynasty, but smaller. Hire actors to be coolies and samsui women, recreate an opium den (and charge the tourists to smoke) etc.
For free, tourists get to
1) carry loads balanced on bamboo poles
2) build an attap hut
3) learn how to play chatek
4) pound their own belachan
5) use an abacus
6) do the bamboo dance
For an extra fee, they can
1) smoke something from an opium pipe (give them some laughing gas? for yet more money, they can keep the pipe)
2) get their 8 characters read by a fortune teller
3) get a rickshaw (not trishaw) ride around the museum
The museum cafe will be like a pasar malaam. There shd also be wax figures of Raffles and Farquhar.
JOMO: YES!! I want to play warcraft!!! do u have it installed? and the frozen throne expansion pack? and patched to the latest version? then drop me an msn msg with ur (n Tommy's?) IP address and I'll see if I can hook us up.
Tonight I discovered injured butt-bliss. sitting on a tennis ball placed at a strategic position is better than 2 million OSIM massage chairs. better than chocolate. even better than durian gelato.
Am reading 'The Chinese in America' by Iris Chang (who wrote the Rape of Nanking, and killed herself after writing the Chinese in America). It's a pretty interesting read, about (DUH) the Chinese in America-- how they first came, their place in American society, later waves of immigration etc. So, interesting tidbit: when the Chinese first started marketing Chinatowns as tourist attractions, they played upon the then-sterotypical view of Chinatown as a hovel of Chinese gangsters, opium dens, secret underground societies etc. In reality, much of this was already cleaned up. So the tour guides hired people to enact gang fights, act as opium addicts etc, and also decorated basements to look like secret temples and opium dens. Just for the tourists.
hhm. so. potential tourism idea? we could have a "S'pore Heritage Museum". Like Tang Dynasty, but smaller. Hire actors to be coolies and samsui women, recreate an opium den (and charge the tourists to smoke) etc.
For free, tourists get to
1) carry loads balanced on bamboo poles
2) build an attap hut
3) learn how to play chatek
4) pound their own belachan
5) use an abacus
6) do the bamboo dance
For an extra fee, they can
1) smoke something from an opium pipe (give them some laughing gas? for yet more money, they can keep the pipe)
2) get their 8 characters read by a fortune teller
3) get a rickshaw (not trishaw) ride around the museum
The museum cafe will be like a pasar malaam. There shd also be wax figures of Raffles and Farquhar.
JOMO: YES!! I want to play warcraft!!! do u have it installed? and the frozen throne expansion pack? and patched to the latest version? then drop me an msn msg with ur (n Tommy's?) IP address and I'll see if I can hook us up.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Busy busy busy
AARGH! so busy in lab. am running 2 expts at once, and the lab is moving, and I had a coffee n doughnut this morning so my nerves are shot AND I'm having a sugar high.
am now trying to lower my breathing and heart rate so that I won't screw up my expts and lose my work. mebbe I should count sheep.
in 3 mins I have to load my gel, in 20mins I have to wash my cells and run them on the cytometer, in 80mins I have to blot the gel, and somehow in the meantime I have to find some lunch and eat it.
ok gotta go.
am now trying to lower my breathing and heart rate so that I won't screw up my expts and lose my work. mebbe I should count sheep.
in 3 mins I have to load my gel, in 20mins I have to wash my cells and run them on the cytometer, in 80mins I have to blot the gel, and somehow in the meantime I have to find some lunch and eat it.
ok gotta go.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Fountainhead
My Sony DVD RW drive (DRU-530A) has stopped working!!!! AARGH. dunno what happened. it was fine b4. i tried uninstalling and restarting but it still doesn't work. When u put in a CD or DVD it whirrs for a while then stops. The screen that used to pop up and ask u what to do with the CD doesn't pop up anymore. Windows explorer doesn't show any files on the drive (like i have an empty disk), but doesn't tell u that the drive is empty. Device manager sez the device is working properly. When I try to burn a DVD it sez 'The device is not ready'. I tried using the 'Force ASPI' program but that didn't work either. HHOOOOWWWW??? *howl*..... I am using WinXP, have an AMD 64bit processor. I want to die.....
on a side note. Have just read 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand. This book is evil. You have to fight every nerve in ur body and brain to stop reading it and go eat and take baths and whatever else normal ppl do. It really disturbed me too. All these things are churning ard in my head and I don't really wanna give away the whole plot. It's a book about power. Power over other people. and how to get it. Only I don't think everyone can be quite so easily manipulated? the book makes it sound so simple. I would like to think that people are not like that, or at least, that I'm not like that. But then I know that most times I just wanna be faceless within the crowd, and that the common opinion is useful because the best chinese restuarants usually have the most people eating inside. (This however, is not true of El Salvadorean restuarants in SF.)
I'm so glad I'm not a salesman. happy that I don't have to push products that people don't really want or need. that I don't have to cater to public opinion, not yet. when I push products, it's gonna be because they save lives. *sigh*...... how arrogant and moralistic is that? Such lofty aims when right now I still dunno if any of my expts are gonna work.
ok, fine. The Fountainhead is not actually a book about power. Ayn Rand used it to showcase her philosophy of the importance of the individual. but the part that most disturbed me was the power part.
The Dalai Lama is coming to Stanford in November. I wonder if he ever gets tired of life. It must be pretty irritating, needing to be reborn every couple decades. Especially when you're like, the most enlightened one we've got. does he think to himself: "Ok, this has GOT to be the last time. Surely I'll acheive enlightenment after THIS life."
i need sleep. I need to shower. I ME MY MINE. was thinking that this is a very self-centred blog. all about ME. but then, this is MY BLOG PAGE. so obviously it shd be about me, right? but is my universe so limited that all I can write about is myself? ugh. I think I'm just cranky because jomo has gone home to S'pore, my expts are once again NOT working, and I can't burn my DVDs.
on a side note. Have just read 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand. This book is evil. You have to fight every nerve in ur body and brain to stop reading it and go eat and take baths and whatever else normal ppl do. It really disturbed me too. All these things are churning ard in my head and I don't really wanna give away the whole plot. It's a book about power. Power over other people. and how to get it. Only I don't think everyone can be quite so easily manipulated? the book makes it sound so simple. I would like to think that people are not like that, or at least, that I'm not like that. But then I know that most times I just wanna be faceless within the crowd, and that the common opinion is useful because the best chinese restuarants usually have the most people eating inside. (This however, is not true of El Salvadorean restuarants in SF.)
I'm so glad I'm not a salesman. happy that I don't have to push products that people don't really want or need. that I don't have to cater to public opinion, not yet. when I push products, it's gonna be because they save lives. *sigh*...... how arrogant and moralistic is that? Such lofty aims when right now I still dunno if any of my expts are gonna work.
ok, fine. The Fountainhead is not actually a book about power. Ayn Rand used it to showcase her philosophy of the importance of the individual. but the part that most disturbed me was the power part.
The Dalai Lama is coming to Stanford in November. I wonder if he ever gets tired of life. It must be pretty irritating, needing to be reborn every couple decades. Especially when you're like, the most enlightened one we've got. does he think to himself: "Ok, this has GOT to be the last time. Surely I'll acheive enlightenment after THIS life."
i need sleep. I need to shower. I ME MY MINE. was thinking that this is a very self-centred blog. all about ME. but then, this is MY BLOG PAGE. so obviously it shd be about me, right? but is my universe so limited that all I can write about is myself? ugh. I think I'm just cranky because jomo has gone home to S'pore, my expts are once again NOT working, and I can't burn my DVDs.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Boston
Am back frm Boston. Exhausted. useful trip though. Stayed awake 50% of the time, of which only 20% was spent doodling, writing the alphabet, dreaming of eternal bliss etc. gained scientific knowledge, thought about what expts to do this month.
I'm becoming as paranoid as Joe. Was debating whether to record my newly-gained ideas here, but decided not to because
1) No one else is interested (even I'm not interested, sometimes)
2) what if some random person steals them and sets up MY biotech?
Boston is interesting. Nice city, beautiful parks, historic bldgs, houses look rustic in a quaint, good way. A lot of red brick, tall windows, black spire-like roofs. Not that many homeless people, either. Sure, they're there, but they won't stand on the roads and harass drivers like in Baltimore, and when u don't give them money they won't yell insults at u (like in B'more), and the ones I saw weren't lying in their corners reeking of alcohol and piss. Can anyone tell that I really hated Baltimore? But mebbe I was in posh downtown Boston and haven't really been to the sketchy areas yet. The outskirts are probably teeming with hobos. Can u also tell that I'm completely disillusioned about urban America? I swear it's the lack of sleep. I'm usually all bubbly and sunshine. plus I miss my xiao mei.
top 2 observations about Boston
1) Drivers are insane. Pedestrains are also insane. I forgot how much jaywalking is a part of East Coast life.
2) Dunkin Donuts is way more popular here than Krispy Kreme. In Boston, there're more DDs than Starbucks.
I'm becoming as paranoid as Joe. Was debating whether to record my newly-gained ideas here, but decided not to because
1) No one else is interested (even I'm not interested, sometimes)
2) what if some random person steals them and sets up MY biotech?
Boston is interesting. Nice city, beautiful parks, historic bldgs, houses look rustic in a quaint, good way. A lot of red brick, tall windows, black spire-like roofs. Not that many homeless people, either. Sure, they're there, but they won't stand on the roads and harass drivers like in Baltimore, and when u don't give them money they won't yell insults at u (like in B'more), and the ones I saw weren't lying in their corners reeking of alcohol and piss. Can anyone tell that I really hated Baltimore? But mebbe I was in posh downtown Boston and haven't really been to the sketchy areas yet. The outskirts are probably teeming with hobos. Can u also tell that I'm completely disillusioned about urban America? I swear it's the lack of sleep. I'm usually all bubbly and sunshine. plus I miss my xiao mei.
top 2 observations about Boston
1) Drivers are insane. Pedestrains are also insane. I forgot how much jaywalking is a part of East Coast life.
2) Dunkin Donuts is way more popular here than Krispy Kreme. In Boston, there're more DDs than Starbucks.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Weird Movies
have been watching a lot of weird movies lately.
Harold and Kumar-- 2 guys who crave White Castle burgers, and have a bizarre night getting there. Moral of the story: Big bags of weed look disturbingly fetching in pink cardigans.
Big Fish-- 1 guy traces the life of his father, the big fish. Moral of the story: People will still leave you even if you steal their shoes. They might come back later, though. Moral #2: Alcohol makes weird movies not so weird.
The Aviator-- Leonardo plays Howard Hughes, psychotic but brilliant visionary (Howard Hughes foundation still supports a lot of life science research today). Moral of the story: ummm... i dunno yet. still extremely freaked out by the whole psycho thing. just saw the movie tonight. he had the whole Lady Macbeth 'Out-damn-spot!' thing going on too. erm. if pressed, I would say that the moral is, er.... If you're completely cuckoo, intelligent and beautiful women are not gonna marry you.
also saw the movie 'Sideways'. Super boring. don't watch it. if u wanna drink wine come to SF and I'll bring u to Sonoma. free tastings, excellent Chardonnays.
Harold and Kumar-- 2 guys who crave White Castle burgers, and have a bizarre night getting there. Moral of the story: Big bags of weed look disturbingly fetching in pink cardigans.
Big Fish-- 1 guy traces the life of his father, the big fish. Moral of the story: People will still leave you even if you steal their shoes. They might come back later, though. Moral #2: Alcohol makes weird movies not so weird.
The Aviator-- Leonardo plays Howard Hughes, psychotic but brilliant visionary (Howard Hughes foundation still supports a lot of life science research today). Moral of the story: ummm... i dunno yet. still extremely freaked out by the whole psycho thing. just saw the movie tonight. he had the whole Lady Macbeth 'Out-damn-spot!' thing going on too. erm. if pressed, I would say that the moral is, er.... If you're completely cuckoo, intelligent and beautiful women are not gonna marry you.
also saw the movie 'Sideways'. Super boring. don't watch it. if u wanna drink wine come to SF and I'll bring u to Sonoma. free tastings, excellent Chardonnays.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
No Angels on Angel Island
Went to Angel Island on Saturday. It's near Alcatraz, on the bay. It's like the Ellis Island of SF-- all the immigrants go through there. It was also a quarantine facility.... (I wonder how long germs last out in the environment.... *rampant imaginings of TB, leprosy etc thriving in water droplets in the air, being breathed into my lungs*) Walked up to Mt Livermore on the island. It's taller than Bukit Timah! my philosophy here in the US is to only climb hills that are taller than Bt Timah. Gd view of the bay.
ok ok, got side tracked again. wanted to say that Angel Island reminded me of this documentary I saw about Mary Mallon (Typhoid Mary). Mary was a cook in NYC, and a healthy carrier of typhoid. The Health Dept traced several outbreaks to her and forcibly captured and quarantined her.
so the issue here is whether it's ok to lock up infectious people. Sick people mebbe. they shd be resting anyways. but healthy carriers? or just mildly sick people? i guess for typhoid it's not a super-big problem, becos transmission is usu only by ppl who prepare food (so if u're a cook u're screwed). but what about SARS or sth that can be spread thru' the air? wear mask? what if it's a virus? i think even masks are not effective then. who's the guy that talked about the greater good? Mill? something about it's good if produces greatest utility. I mean, to put it bluntly, she murdered 3 people and injured like, 50.
*sigh* I hate morality questions. I guess one thing is definately true: It sucked to be her. 'though I think i usually take the heartless kill-them-all side of the fence. pro-choice, pro-euthanasia, pro-death penalty etc. why? I dunno... mebbe cos when I was young my mum told me everyday about how she's gonna kill herself at 45 'cos she doesn't wanna get old n useless. But won't that make me cherish life instead? Or mebbe becos of that I've been psycho-ed to think that ppl that are old/useless/sick/dangerous shd all die. mebbe it's the biologist in me, the 'survival of the fittest' ideology. mebbe i'm just an evil b!#ch.
on a completely irrelevant note: when u're in a developing country, even the bottled water is not safe to drink. someone did a study and there's just as much bacteria in the bottles as there is in tap water. drink the carbonated water instead. The acid in there kills the bacteria. Moral of the story: in India, brush ur teeth with beer.
ok ok, got side tracked again. wanted to say that Angel Island reminded me of this documentary I saw about Mary Mallon (Typhoid Mary). Mary was a cook in NYC, and a healthy carrier of typhoid. The Health Dept traced several outbreaks to her and forcibly captured and quarantined her.
so the issue here is whether it's ok to lock up infectious people. Sick people mebbe. they shd be resting anyways. but healthy carriers? or just mildly sick people? i guess for typhoid it's not a super-big problem, becos transmission is usu only by ppl who prepare food (so if u're a cook u're screwed). but what about SARS or sth that can be spread thru' the air? wear mask? what if it's a virus? i think even masks are not effective then. who's the guy that talked about the greater good? Mill? something about it's good if produces greatest utility. I mean, to put it bluntly, she murdered 3 people and injured like, 50.
*sigh* I hate morality questions. I guess one thing is definately true: It sucked to be her. 'though I think i usually take the heartless kill-them-all side of the fence. pro-choice, pro-euthanasia, pro-death penalty etc. why? I dunno... mebbe cos when I was young my mum told me everyday about how she's gonna kill herself at 45 'cos she doesn't wanna get old n useless. But won't that make me cherish life instead? Or mebbe becos of that I've been psycho-ed to think that ppl that are old/useless/sick/dangerous shd all die. mebbe it's the biologist in me, the 'survival of the fittest' ideology. mebbe i'm just an evil b!#ch.
on a completely irrelevant note: when u're in a developing country, even the bottled water is not safe to drink. someone did a study and there's just as much bacteria in the bottles as there is in tap water. drink the carbonated water instead. The acid in there kills the bacteria. Moral of the story: in India, brush ur teeth with beer.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Epitaph
In 2000 I got this book of poems (published by the BBC!), and there was one I really liked. I got reminded of it today because a friend of a friend's grandma passed away. So I was thinking of this poem and how I want to have it on my tombstone. But I guess now no more tombstones in S'pore. On my urn then, i guess. or whatever they're using when I die. I couldn't remember the exact lines so I googled it and it's on like, a gazillion websites. So mebbe it's not so special, huh? but whatever. I still think it's good. ANyways.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
-Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
-Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932.
Monday, May 02, 2005
GONE CASE
Wah lau I'm really lousy. not even 2 days into my icecream fast and I have broken my vow of celibacy. but it's not Really My Fault (yar rite). my dorm organized FREE COLD STONE ice cream. how to resist i ask u? I got 'Banana Split Decision', a heavenly concoction of Banana ice cream, banana, strawberries n fudge. in a waffle cone. *extreme bliss*. only one notch below a warm Krispy Kreme doughnut + coffee. *heaven*
I have however renewed my vow to stay off ice cream for this week.
whoop! I'm going to Boston next week!!! but it's for a 4 day scientific conference =(. sometimes I think i'm in the wrong field. Reading immunology papers is the shortest road between me and the sandman. I'm convinced that i'm gonna spend 4 days in Boston asleep in various conference rooms. WHY can't people make their talks more interesting?
Immunity is actually pretty cool. Instead, people fill their talks with super-boring details of endless chains of protein phosphorylations and dark little gels and graphs Filled with super-confusing spots.... AARRRGH!!!! if I wasn't completely unconscious in 5 mins, i'll be gashing my teeth and pulling out my hair at the agony of it all. But the WORST part is that one day i'll be presenting my own little obscure graphs and pictures. I can feel it. I already have a file full of fuzzy black spots. They actually look quite interesting, but only AFTER u drink urself into oblivion. I guess if i ever give up science I have a back up job as psychologist, administering those ink blot tests.
I have however renewed my vow to stay off ice cream for this week.
whoop! I'm going to Boston next week!!! but it's for a 4 day scientific conference =(. sometimes I think i'm in the wrong field. Reading immunology papers is the shortest road between me and the sandman. I'm convinced that i'm gonna spend 4 days in Boston asleep in various conference rooms. WHY can't people make their talks more interesting?
Immunity is actually pretty cool. Instead, people fill their talks with super-boring details of endless chains of protein phosphorylations and dark little gels and graphs Filled with super-confusing spots.... AARRRGH!!!! if I wasn't completely unconscious in 5 mins, i'll be gashing my teeth and pulling out my hair at the agony of it all. But the WORST part is that one day i'll be presenting my own little obscure graphs and pictures. I can feel it. I already have a file full of fuzzy black spots. They actually look quite interesting, but only AFTER u drink urself into oblivion. I guess if i ever give up science I have a back up job as psychologist, administering those ink blot tests.
Quarks
My adopted xiao mei asked me about quarks the other day. Since I was reading the Bill Bryson book (see post below), I have shamelessly plagerized his explanation. but we all know that as long as one references one's sources, it's not plagerism, just a good literature search.
Particle physics is an amazingly confusing field, where no one really knows what's going on, because the subatomic realm is governed by completely different rules than in the macro-scale. In secondary sch they bluff u that protons, neutrons and electrons are the smallest things there are, and apparently that's not true at all.
So. this is the currently accepted theory: Quarks are even smaller particles held together by other particles called gluons and together they form protons and neutrons. Leptons form electrons and neutrinos (neutrinos are v.v.v.v. tiny particles given off during nuclear fusion in the Sun). Quarks n leptons together are called fermions. Bosons are particles that produce and carry forces n include photons and gluons. There's another one called the Higg's boson, which may or may not exist; it was invented to endow particles with mass.
Particle physics is an amazingly confusing field, where no one really knows what's going on, because the subatomic realm is governed by completely different rules than in the macro-scale. In secondary sch they bluff u that protons, neutrons and electrons are the smallest things there are, and apparently that's not true at all.
So. this is the currently accepted theory: Quarks are even smaller particles held together by other particles called gluons and together they form protons and neutrons. Leptons form electrons and neutrinos (neutrinos are v.v.v.v. tiny particles given off during nuclear fusion in the Sun). Quarks n leptons together are called fermions. Bosons are particles that produce and carry forces n include photons and gluons. There's another one called the Higg's boson, which may or may not exist; it was invented to endow particles with mass.
what all the above means, I haven't the faintest clue. Once physicists manage to build even larger particle accelerators, they will no doubt discover yet more 'fundamental' particles to confuse the rest of us and spend billions and billions of $$. They contend that this will help us understand the meaning of life.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
I think my labmates are damn hilarious. Last year's secret santa gifts include: a shot-glass checkers set, a 'Man-pillow' (Pillow shaped like a man's torso, wearing a shirt, so man-less people can sleep with one), bottle of Jaegermister (PJ's favourite beverage), McDonald's vouchers.
There's also this guy in the lab that every unattached girl AND guy is madly in love with. He gets all these groupies that casually drop by the lab in the desperate hope of catching a glimpse of him. I think I shd start selling tickets. Watching him $10/hr; talking to him $20/hr... etc. we can split the profits. anyways, he owes me ice cream.
Speaking of which, I'm vowing to stay off ice cream for a week. just to see if I can. Shaowei says that his experience fasting brought him closer to God. I wonder if staying off ice cream will be equally spiritual. I guess it's not really that drastic. Staying off bubble tea will be much much harder. Erm. I'm not ready to take that step yet.
I'm reading 'a short history of nearly everything' by Bill Bryson. Wah cor. It's not short at all lah. super thick book. and still it doesn't explain everything. I'm just past the big bang and plate tectonics and life has begun. And now all I know is that it's kinda more complicated than I'd imagined. Just leaves me unsatisfied with his explanations. I need to know more. I think the biggest leap of faith is that at first there was nothing. Then there were all these things, which exploded (big bang). HUH!?! WTF!?!? I need to go sit by the ocean and stare at the sky n think about this. (heh. another excuse to slack off.)
There's also this guy in the lab that every unattached girl AND guy is madly in love with. He gets all these groupies that casually drop by the lab in the desperate hope of catching a glimpse of him. I think I shd start selling tickets. Watching him $10/hr; talking to him $20/hr... etc. we can split the profits. anyways, he owes me ice cream.
Speaking of which, I'm vowing to stay off ice cream for a week. just to see if I can. Shaowei says that his experience fasting brought him closer to God. I wonder if staying off ice cream will be equally spiritual. I guess it's not really that drastic. Staying off bubble tea will be much much harder. Erm. I'm not ready to take that step yet.
I'm reading 'a short history of nearly everything' by Bill Bryson. Wah cor. It's not short at all lah. super thick book. and still it doesn't explain everything. I'm just past the big bang and plate tectonics and life has begun. And now all I know is that it's kinda more complicated than I'd imagined. Just leaves me unsatisfied with his explanations. I need to know more. I think the biggest leap of faith is that at first there was nothing. Then there were all these things, which exploded (big bang). HUH!?! WTF!?!? I need to go sit by the ocean and stare at the sky n think about this. (heh. another excuse to slack off.)
Friday, April 22, 2005
high on caffeine
I can't believe it's raining. This morning I was just thinking about how great the weather has been and how I forgot my jacket but it's probably gonna be ok because there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
HHRMPH.
the weather is toying with my emotions. And now I might get a cold biking home in the damn rain and wind. ah well. getting sick is very slimming. good weight loss program. resisted the lab ice-cream trip this afternoon. very proud of myself.
am taking a Wilderness Medicine class. It's a great class. learn something useful in every class. like splash your face with the cold water a couple minutes before you think you're gonna capsize when you're kayaking out in the cold. gets u over the hyperventilation reflex when u fall in. also also, Leonardo Di Caprio dies while whats-her-face lives in the movie Titanic. because u lose heat 30times faster in water than in air. The class is taught by Eric Weiss. Check out his book for more wild and wondrous survival tips.
see? great stuff. also highly recommend the book "Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation". Excellent and essential natural history information. *grin*
15mins before I have to get up n stain my gel. whoop. EtBr is gonna get me skin cancer in 10yrs... but meanwhile, it's good stuff man.
I wanna go home.
HHRMPH.
the weather is toying with my emotions. And now I might get a cold biking home in the damn rain and wind. ah well. getting sick is very slimming. good weight loss program. resisted the lab ice-cream trip this afternoon. very proud of myself.
am taking a Wilderness Medicine class. It's a great class. learn something useful in every class. like splash your face with the cold water a couple minutes before you think you're gonna capsize when you're kayaking out in the cold. gets u over the hyperventilation reflex when u fall in. also also, Leonardo Di Caprio dies while whats-her-face lives in the movie Titanic. because u lose heat 30times faster in water than in air. The class is taught by Eric Weiss. Check out his book for more wild and wondrous survival tips.
see? great stuff. also highly recommend the book "Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation". Excellent and essential natural history information. *grin*
15mins before I have to get up n stain my gel. whoop. EtBr is gonna get me skin cancer in 10yrs... but meanwhile, it's good stuff man.
I wanna go home.
Friday, March 04, 2005
warmed-up noses
SO. I attended this self-defence course the other day. One of the techniques recommended is to push your palm into ur attacker's nose. This will hopefully cause much pain and more imptantly, cause the eyes to tear (impairing sight). The instructor sez this is why boxers have to rub their noses to 'warm it up' before a match, so that when they get punched in the nose their eyes don't water as much. Is this true? sounds bizarre that u can actually warm up ur nose.
finally finished writing up my proposal with all the pretty pictures, have finished most of my hw for tmr, and most of my proposal ppt presentation. Man, I Hate Work. I wanna go eat Brazilian BBQ. apparently the waiters walk ard with HugE Skewers of MEAT, which they slice liberally unto ur plate.... sounds good. unfortunately my appetite seems to be shrinking lately. My rmmate made chicken rice for dinner tonight, I had 3... ok ok 4 pieces of chicken at 7pm. It's now 12.45am and I'm still stuffed. Had to check out the symptoms of stomach cancer for hw today and feeling full after eating v.little is one of the symptoms!! I'm doomed.....
finally finished writing up my proposal with all the pretty pictures, have finished most of my hw for tmr, and most of my proposal ppt presentation. Man, I Hate Work. I wanna go eat Brazilian BBQ. apparently the waiters walk ard with HugE Skewers of MEAT, which they slice liberally unto ur plate.... sounds good. unfortunately my appetite seems to be shrinking lately. My rmmate made chicken rice for dinner tonight, I had 3... ok ok 4 pieces of chicken at 7pm. It's now 12.45am and I'm still stuffed. Had to check out the symptoms of stomach cancer for hw today and feeling full after eating v.little is one of the symptoms!! I'm doomed.....
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