Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bay to Breakers

yoicks.
Ran Bay to Breakers on Sunday!! [B2B is a 'race' across San Francisco, frm the Bay to the Ocean. Total length = 12km= 7.48 mi] Man, I've never run so much continuously in my life =). It wasn't too hard to keep my mind off boredom/pain/blisters/road, because running/walking around me were 60 000 other people dressed in Elvis costumes, grapes, santa hats, SpongeBob, and even one guy going as a portable earthquake shelter. !!?!! I only counted 15 naked people, but apparently there were a lot more of them walking at the back.

It was a stupendous event. People lined the streets to play music, watch and cheer, and I saw one guy on his balcony, in nothing but an Elvis wig and a very tight thong. *grin*

Mebbe next year I'll forget about the whole running thing. Just bring alcohol and walk/stagger the 12K.

Checked out the results online. Fastest guy time= 34.20min. Fastest gal = 39.09. SF Mayor Gavin Newsom=59.04. My time= 1h 25 min.

Didn't take any pictures because I was running, but check out the official online photo gallery: http://www.ingbaytobreakers.com/race_information/gallery.html

Oh, and as always, there were people dressed as salmon running 'upstream' against the flow of traffic. =). Didn't see the sushi chef that's supposed to be running after them, though.

Good times.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

PISSED OFF

Current mood: Pissed Off.

It's bloody midnight on a Friday night and I'm here in lab isolating stupid cells from stupid blood. Me and my psychological mind games that I'm playing with Joe to encourage him to take more vacations. Have to be ultra productive while he's home in Texas so that he'll go home more often.

Am super busy all weekend, and have to go to SF tmr to do some stupid taiji demonstration. Drive bloody 1hr, get to SF, get stuck in traffic and find parking for 20mins, get to Union Sq, do a FIVE MINUTE demo, drive all the way back. What a bloody Waste Of My Time. Pull any kid off the street and teach him taiji and make him do the demo instead. That means I can't do tuition tmr and have to push it to sunday when I already have other plans.

**FUME**

things I'd rather have happen instead of having to do all this crap:
1) get knocked down by a bus. Hopefully die.
2) second coming of Christ, go to Hell for eternal damnation.
3) aliens invade. zap Earth off the Universe. quick death.


was wondering if I was irritable because I'm hungry. Read a news story about a teacher solving her grade sch kids behavioral and scholastic problems just by feeding them. So I fed myself a bagel. Nope. Still Pissed Off.

Basket.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Morality, Monogamy n Marriage

Dunno why, was thinking about monogamy. Again. Feels like I've blogged about this b4.

Thought #1
Started thinking about it a few mths ago, when SP told me that the guy she was kinda seeing confessed to being Married. Wah. Apparently he often goes out with other girls, and says that it's not really his fault, the girls were throwing themselves at him. !! Hm. Although. He IS a pretty good looking chap, and it was SP who first asked him out.. but still. I was there when she asked him out, and she wasn't exactly launching herself into his arms.. And on their 'date' they apparently talked about relationships and he mentioned having an ex-girlfriend but said nothing about being married. I guess he conveniently left out the fact that his "ex-gf" is now his current-WIFE.

Thought #2
Kenny C at Hopkins talks enviously about Mormons n how they condone polygamy; Suicide bombers look forward to their 42 virgins when they reach heaven; but Lisa rejects the idea of 42 virgins being heavenly because how can you make each one feel special and loved??.. [i guess it's heaven for the jihadists, but not for the virgins?]

Thought #3
Reading "Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation": polygamy is the norm in the animal kingdom. Makes sense for males because they want to spread their seed. Makes sense for the females because the fittest sperm probably leads to the fittest offspring, + y put all ur eggs into one basket? Makes sense for the species as a whole because more matings lead to more diverse offspring, lead to increased chance of survival in times of crisis.

Back in the day, Kings would keep harems of mistresses. Under Islamic law, it's still legal to have more than 1 wife. [Although I think this is more because of the male-dominance of the society than enlightened views of evolution, since females can't have more than 1 husband.]

But now in 'modern', westernised society, it's not only immoral to be polygamous, it's illegal to have more than one spouse at any one time. Since there is a clear genetic argument to be made for sexual promiscuity, IS OUR MORALITY HOLDING BACK OUR EVOLUTION?

[An interesting thought that just came to me: suppose the Church is so anti-evolution because this would undermine all their moral teachings as well?]

Thought #4
Ah hah! Now I remember why this topic seems familiar-- I wrote something about the movie 'Kinsey', where this guy, his wife, and his students started engaging in all sorts of sex in all sort of combinations. In the movie the whole thing breaks down because of jealousies and the question of love.

Recently saw the movie 'The Barbarian Invasions'. It's excellent. so I watched the 'making-of' clip in the DVD. One of the actresses was reminiscing about the 60s/70s, the whole peace, love, flower-power era. So apparently, back then it was all about You shd love n sleep with whoever and however many you want. Her bf then really embraced this philosophy, but she never felt comfortable with it. But she also felt that it was morally wrong to object to his infidelities because of peace, love etc. So then she also slept with someone else, and once she did that, she found that she didn't love her bf anymore. Mebbe she's just not the alpha male/female type?


Conclusion:
Seems like polygamy makes biological sense, but it doesn't really work in human society, even when it's universally accepted [eg. during the peace, love, flower-power era]? Like all logical, utopian ideals (eg. Communism), human nature/society tends to throw curveballs?


Random, off topic thought:
MM Lee said that if the opposition wants to become a real challenge to the PAP, it should challenge them on concrete issues, like housing, the economy, health care, education etc, instead of just whining about how the PAP treats them unfairly and doesn't provide a level playing field. Hm. I guess that makes sense. but I think challenging the PAP's stand on 'free speech' is pretty relevant to society as a whole. [Probably the reason y no one talks about housing and health care is becos the PAP is doing a good job in those areas. How to challenge 90% home ownership?] But they are really trying to revamp the education system, say what 'teach less to learn more'. So Rubbish. I think the best part of the education system is that they teach more. Coming to the US, we really have an edge over the Americans. How else to get 3.8GPA and do triple majors in 3 yrs? The lack of creativity is not because of our overwhelming education system. It's because we can't even debate race and politics without fear of getting sued left, right and center. MM Lee says he doesn't believe that S'poreans are scared to talk to the ST about politics. Hm. Are we talking about the same S'pore? S'pore in 2000? He's still thinking about the 1950s, mebbe.

Ok. so mebbe it's an irrational fear. I'm pretty sure that if I insinuate bad things about the PAP here, I'll still be ok, and if I have children in future they will be able to get into Primary sch, and I won't get knocks on my door at night frm people about to take me away for questioning... But I'm still scared.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Stupid Expts...

ARGH! nothing works! I'll be stuck here forever!!! Stupid cells don't wanna degranulate.... I'm DOOMED..... time is ticking inexorably away, and I have accomplished Nothing =XXXXXX.....

*panic attack*

sigh. all I want is my PhD. is that too much to ask?


---------------------------

Never have I felt such torture.
All I think of is her.
Needing the opiate of her favor, I am
Consumed by the Unattainable;
Yeasting with sound and fury, and accomplishing nothing.

---------------------------

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

rain

I remember the only Chinese essay I ever received a good grade for: It was an essay about 'Rain'. It was pouring outside and I thought that really sucked. So as a mental exercise I decided to write an essay about how great the rain was and how I really liked it to rain. Made up some story about how rain washed away the dirt and the evil, how it was a rebirth, etc. Almost convinced myself, until class ended and I had to go home in the bl**dy rain. Moral of the story: chinese teachers like precipitation.

was making the short 20 second hike frm car to class last night and it was a crazy battle between my umbrella and the howling wind/rain. I was wondering why Mother Nature was punishing my poor little umbrella.:

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: Yes I know you're damn powerful. Now stop it already and let me pass!

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: Why do you feel the need to show off, huh? My umbrella has suffered enough! It doesn't have to take this kind of sh!t frm you.

MN: Howling Wind/Rain.

ME: dammit.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Saving Face

watched the movie yesterday, after eating way too much for steamboat (aka 'hotpot). There's something about steamboat that makes me overeat. I think the problem is that you get something cooked, you eat it. You cook something else, you eat that too. So it's almost impossible to keep track of how much you eat until suddenly you're beset by this feeling of unparalleled expansion + tightness and you realise that oops you've done it again. And it's definately exacerbated by helpful friends putting food in your bowl.

But I digress. I think the movie is excellent. rumor has it that it's directed by an ex-Stanford student. It's about a young chinese-american girl (Wil) who's doing her surgical residency in NYC. Her single mother lives with her grandparents in Flushing, Queens. One day her mum shows up at her door, pregnant and chased out by her really strict and traditional father (Wil's grandfather). Almost at the same time, Wil falls in love with and starts dating Vivian, another ABC with parental connections in Flushing. (Apparently, there's this whole community of immigrant Chinese in Flushing that are really close knit, everyone knows everyone else and tries to matchmake each other's offspring etc)

So. it gets kinda complicated. the basic issues (for Wil) are

1) Pregnant mother in house
2) In love with another woman. How to tell pregnant mother n grandparents?
3) Pregnant mother is redecorating house (pink curtains, bedsheets etc)
4) Who is the father?????

It's a really hilarious look into the immigrant Chinese community and the second generation woes. But Wil's and Vivian's chinese is absolutely atrocious. Probably my only gripe about the movie. But according to the director's notes, the movie is ultimately about LLUUURRVE.

Told Lisa that I thought that Wil is chio but Lisa says that Vivian was definately a lot chio-er. And the guys thought so too. But it's all in the make up and clothes, man. I looked her up on the internet and with makeup and in a dress she looked more.. um.. alluring.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

'allo 'allo

Nighthawk, come in Nighthawk.

'allo 'allo. this is nighthawk. receiving you loud and clear.

Nighthawk, this is your message: Aunt Tilda is arriving Thursday. She hasn't got any matches.

um. but Aunt Mary is still here. where am I going to put all these relatives?

That's your problem, Nighthawk. Over and out.



- iambored

Monday, January 02, 2006

2006!

saw pics of people in Times Square with those cheesy glasses that say '2006' where the "00" are the lenses for your eyes... I was just thinking that we only have 3 more years to wear these kinda glasses... when it's 2010 it's not gonna work anymore!! I'll definately have to get me a pair in 2009.

these couple days i've been doing this 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. it's 'bout 2/3 done, i think. but i'm a little sick of it. and it's taking up all the space on my dining table so i've had to eat my dinner in front of the TV. =X. it's a picture of this log cabin above a river, and there's a nice cliff/rock face behind it. when i first started the jigsaw I thought: oh! wouldn't it be nice to live in this cabin? all these nice trees, and you can climb the mountain/canyon thinggy whenever you want instead of driving 3 hrs to Yosemite!

but now after 3 days of jigsawing, I'm thinking: OMG let me never see the real cabin man, i swear I'll burn it to the ground, and all the !@#$%! trees with it.

ok i take that back. i love trees. i'll just burn the cabin.

hm. the sleeve label on my quiksilver tshirt says on the back: "Our Roots Run Deeper". huh? roots? deeper? than what? what roots? I'm not a plant. i refuse to be even metaphorically associated with one.

was really bored and tried to go to pinkshoefetish.blogspot.com, but it wasn't there anymore! apparently i'm Really behind the times, and daphne teo is no longer blogging after being hounded by hecklers criticizing her blog, her brain, her way of life etc. Eh. wah cor man. what's this? wtf did she ever do to those people for them to call her all those horrible names and denouncing her for living her shopaholic, 'decadent' lifestyle? See lah, now she shut down her blog, what am i gonna read for fun? where else can i find pics of expensive shoes, handbags and cosmetics and wonder in amazement and plot about how I could spend all that $$$?

This further confirms my belief that SINGAPORE IS TOO DAMN SMALL. people are so wu-liao they have nothing better to do than be mean to other people and pass all kinds of judgements. *sigh*. but obviously I also have nothing better to do. sitting here on my ass whining and complaining.

am cranky becos Aileen n her friend said yesterday that they might make Tiramisu but they never called me for the hand mixer and they're going away tmr to some church in Redding so I MIGHT NEVER GET MY TIRAMISU!! AARGH!!! calamity!

*deep breathing exercises*

i'm pondering a name-change to Dong(1) Fang(1) Bu(4) Bai(4) [ie. the Invincible East]. it has a nice ring to it, yeah? and i just saw the movie and she was cool! [although in the story she's actually a He who castrated himself to obtain superpowers--- how come in chinese kungfu movies the bad guy always has to castrate himself to obtain superpowers? does that mean that women are inherently more powerful already? or does it mean that women are evil? but cannot be becos the bad guy was already evil and male b4 he castrates himself. i think it's just a stupid chauvinistic concept that the evil guy is SO EVIL that he would even sacriface his most precious asset, ie. his manhood. anyways. in his case i think becoming a woman is the best thing that happened to him. geez. to become so pretty and have Jet Li fall in love with you? wah. I also want to castrate myself and learn superpowers............... ]

anyways. I digress. read 'Wicked' by Gregory Macguire. It's good! everyone shd read it. need to find something new to read. 'Guns Germs and Steel' isn't really doing it for me. have been trying to read it for the past 4 mths and it's going really slowly. any recommendations?

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Walt Whitman

Was watching this DVD the other day: L.I.E. (long island expressway)

about this 15 yr old boy whose mum died and dad is getting arrested by the F.B.I. and he's getting gay vibes from his best friend and is robbing houses with him but one of the owners catches him n who turns out to be this extremely cultured ex-spy who is also gay and likes to have young boys. (!!!)

all in all, kinda screwed up. And I'm not sure if the title L.I.E. is trying to say anything but I don't think any of it is a lie. In fact, it's a pretty honest film. I guess the expressway just played a major role in the movie.

but there's some nice poetry in there, cos this 15 yr old likes poetry and writes some too. Once, in the car with the ex-spy, he quotes this excerpt frm Walt Whitman:

Demon or bird! (said the boy's soul,)
Is it indeed toward your mate you sing? or is it really to me?
For I, that was a child, my tongue's use sleeping, now I have heard you,
Now in a moment I know what I am for, I awake,
And already a thousand singers, a thousand songs, clearer, louder and more sorrowful than yours,
A thousand warbling echoes have started to life within me, never to die.

O you singer solitary, singing by yourself, projecting me,
O solitary me listening, never more shall I cease perpetuating you,
Never more shall I escape, never more the reverberations,
Never more the cries of unsatisfied love be absent from me,
Never again leave me to be the peaceful child I was before what there in the night,
By the sea under the yellow and sagging moon,
The messenger there arous'd, the fire, the sweet hell within,
The unknown want, the destiny of me.


Walt Whitman wrote this about a pivotal experience in his life, that of watching a mockingbird singing futilely for its mate (who had disappeared, probably died). And this episode apparently further pushed him along the path to becoming a poet.

I checked out other stuff by Whitman, but they're all 'oh glory to america' kinda things. all about how wonderful the US states/ farmers toiling/ wheat/ liberty etc are. *grin*. it's interesting. He even writes this:


Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you,
that you be my poem,
I whisper with my lips close to your ear,

I have loved many women and men, but I love
none better than you.

O I have been dilatory and dumb,
I should have made my way straight to you long
ago,
I should have blabbed nothing but you, I should
have chanted nothing but you.

I will leave all, and come and make the hymns
of you;
None have understood you, but I understand you,
None have done justice to you, you have not done
justice to yourself,
None but have found you imperfect, I only find no
imperfection in you,
None but would subordinate you, I only am he
who will never consent to subordinate you,
I only am he who places over you no master,
owner, better, god, beyond what waits intrin-
sically in yourself.

*grin*.... first time I've seen a love poem to a poem....

Friday, December 23, 2005

The bell tolls.
It's five p.m.
On Christmas Eve's eve.

I'm heading home
Alone
Always, alone
As will forever be.


I think of her, her smile
A vision of beauty.
Her heart of yearning
Her soul, a spark
to kindle what could have been.

But I am
Alone.
Still, alone
And will forever be.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Joy to the World

Dear Ms. Teo:

Thank you for your email. I am sorry you found the handling of your claim unacceptable and appreciate the opportunity to review your claim.

After going over all the information submitted with your claim, we have decided to reverse our previous decision and issue payment for your claim. Our check will arrive shortly.

We also appreciate this opportunity to make amends and thank you for choosing United for your travels.

Sincerely,
Becky Baran
Baggage Claim Representative
United Airlines

________________________________

From:
Sent: Tue 12/13/2005 11:48 PM
To: Baran, Rebecca [HDQLZ]
Subject: lost baggage, ticket number 1601138055258



Dear Ms Baran,

I have just received your nice letter, denying liability for my lost
baggage. The reason stated in your letter is that I did not report my loss
within 24 hours of my claim. Let me explain to you the exact circumstances:
I DID report my loss, immediately when I arrived at SFO on Aug 8. After 2
weeks of not hearing from United, I finally managed to get through to your
1800 baggage claim number (after being on hold for 1 hour). The nice lady on
the line told me that my claim was never filed. I then drove 30mins to SFO
to figure this out.

When I got to SFO with my claim ticket, the guy at the desk told me that
even though I had the ticket paperwork, somehow I wasn't in the computer
system. He hypothesized that this was because the claims clerk probably
forgot to press "ENTER", thus never filing my claim. He assured me that this
time, he will press 'ENTER' and my bag will be found.

After 3 days, I managed once again to get through to your 1800 number. The
nice lady on the line very nicely told me that they again have no record of
my file. Seems like the nice man at SFO forgot to press 'ENTER', despite his
assurance to me. She then placed a priority trace on my bag. When I called
again later that evening, I was very relieved to hear that you guys FINALLY
have me on file. Unfortunately, my bag was still missing.

It took United another MONTH to contact me regarding my claim, and another
TWO MONTHS to mail me my claims form. And this was only after many phone
calls and multiple, multiple emails, all expressing my UTMOST DISAPPOINTMENT
with United.

And now, I've received your letter to say that I was LATE to file my claim
and that due to MY negligence, you are denying liability for my claim.

I humbly beg you to reconsider. The inefficiencies of your staff has caused
me much emotional distress, not to mention the financial losses I have
suffered due to my need to buy new clothes, books, luggage etc to replace
the missing ones. Please help me restore some measure of faith in United
Airlines.

I look forward to your favorable reply soon. If you are unable to help me,
please let me know how I can contact someone (your manager? vice president?
MD? CEO?) who can.

Thank you.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It rains again!!

Oh Joy. It's gonna snow in Tahoe tmr! I'm going skiing again!

so boring in lab. got work but too xian to do. *moan* *groan*. Guess who I picked for the lab's secret santa gift exchange: the undergrad who's been stealing and contaminating all my tubes!! ARRGH! moral dilemma. Lisa thinks I shd get him a nice clean box of tubes. I think that's kinda mean..... I'm not that evil n vindictive, right? hm. I think i shd get him a dirty box of tubes instead. oh, oh. mebbe i shd get him a box of gloves, so that when he next steals my tubes, he won't contaminate the whole box.....

sigh. dun wanna go for lecture. but I shd, yar? will drag myself there now. *deep sigh*.... oh, the dreariness of my life..... =X

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Altoids

I like the Altoids Tangerine Sours. they really taste like tangerines! not to be confused with tamarinds, which in my opinion is far less desireable.

Am TAing this quarter. my duties include

1) conducting section once a week (to go thru the lecture material n problem set)
2) grading problem sets, midterms n finals
3) making up 2 problem sets + answers
4) conducting a 'cellular n molecular techniques in immunology' seminar
5) office hours 1 hr/week

so far it's been ok. sometimes hectic. like now. just finished grading 120 copies of question 5 of the midterm, and setting this week's problem set. Am now trying to come up with the problem set answers. I realised that it's such a bitch of a problem set! Damn annoying questions, requires checking the notes n the textbook n some critical thinking. It seemed more fun when I was making up the questions..... =I..... got so bored I decided to blog again.

Oh, Lisa printed this black pepper crab recipe off some visit s'pore website! so we tried cooking today! **grin**.... first step: deep fry crabs in hot oil. sounds simple. heat up oil till hot. add crab pieces. big mistake man. the crab was fresh frm washing (ie. it still had water droplets on it), so the hot oil just started ERUPTING like crazy. Both of us jumped back like 12 feet. I was seriously worried that the oil will set something on fire and the whole kitchen will burn down (like Jason's kitchen last year).... fortunately it finally subsided to a quiet splutter, and our kitchen was safe again. Wah cor. stupid recipe. trying to kill us, man. never warn people... wait kena sued.... =X.... basket.

so that was drama #1. drama #2 was also during deep frying. after the first volcanic piece, all other pieces we first dried on paper towels. The next one was quieter. However, the crab legs Spasmed while frying! it's true! it was jerking about, all over the place, like it was still a live crab! we got kinda freaked out. **shudder** wonder why it did that?? expansion of the meat inside the legs?

but the rest of the cooking went well. And the crab turned out really authentic! (though slightly undercooked) we were very impressed. we should have filmed a home-video of the whole event. Such a monumental occasion. Our first black pepper crabs! of course, the real test is to wait till tmr, and see if everyone's stomach is still ok.

we're gonna try chilli crab next week. but this time got prima packet. no need to pound black peppercorns. and no more deep frying.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Do woop, do woop

am TA-ing this quarter! for the undergrad Immunology class...... need to think about how to keep people awake in class... also need to think about how to keep ME awake in class...... I'm thinking of buying a big bag of candy, and doing like a mini pop-quiz every section. people who answer get candy. but that's gonna be expensive..... hm. wonder if I can get the prof to sponsor....

it's a 2.15pm section some more.... sure fall asleep.... =(..........

am taking cantonese! yay! have already learnt useful stuff, like how to scold people, and to ask whether the girl u just met is pretty or not. hope to progress to how to order food (esp dim sum), and being able to understand the cantonese parts of Kung Fu Hustle.

i wanna stand with you on the mountain,
I wanna swim with you in the sea.
I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me..........

**sigh**. dunno why, the song started playing in my head. like during that one Math lecture where Luz made me listen to it at least 9 times... I like the song, though. seems so carefree and school-less.... If only I could go now to the top of some mountain (a real one hor, not Bt Timah Hill), drink in the view, feel the sun and the wind, and just be Away From It All.

too bad. back to my messy little room.

eh, my 'voices of scholars' thinggy is up online! googled myself today and it was the first hit! *beam*.... they didn't edit it at all! though somehow my email address didn't come out. small disclaimer though, it's not entirely true, not all the time...... it's like, super positive and pro-research. I had to eat a lot of chocolate b4 I could write it..... =X..... see lah, Astar is making me fat.

Monday, September 19, 2005

TIRED

Jomo: 'cos I'm very tired.... =(..... hard to do anything when one is all wrapped up in tires.

bright point in life: Discovered how to put air into my car tires and read the tire pressure! *heh* how loser am I????????? there's this gauge that pops out of the air pump thinggy in the gas station! like one of those arcade games where u get this huge hammer to bash the little guy that pops out.

am finally starting to sell my warehouse stuff:

whiteboard $8
microwave $15
bike $50

space to walk around in my living room: Priceless.


watched the movie 'Kinsey' last night. on dvd. Liam Neeson plays Al Kinsey, US scientist in the 50s who went ard interviewing people about their sex lives. It's pretty warped. so Kinsey was brought up in this super conservative household/society. America apparently was in some kind of sexual black hole. eg. people thought that masturbation was not only sinful, but deadly. Kinsey, a zoologist, feels that sex is normal and biological. starts to interview people about their sex lives, realises that married, heterosexual sex is not the only 'normal' kind of sex. Premarital, extramarital, homosexual, animal etc sex is also prevalent. And hence also 'normal'. nothing wrong with them. just biology. That's fine, i guess. but he then goes on to have an affair with his male student. then he tells his wife. Wife is upset. He explains that it's natural. It's just sex. he continues the affair.etc.

dun wanna spoil everything for ppl who want to watch the movie, but let's just say that he and his students and spouses begin to engage in ALL SORTS of sex. in the end however, the orgy kinda breaks down. (surprise!) he realises that the relationship b/w Love and Sex is more complicated than he had thought.

no obvious definite conclusion in the end, except he seems to have reconciled his conflict with Love, Sex and his wife. how exactly, not sure.

I thought it was a very interesting movie. Not the usual hollywood love fest. thought-provoking, especially since I'm sort of a biologist(?). yes we are but animals etc. but then what of love? but there are examples of couples and affection in other animal species as well. and then how about morality? masturbation is normal, so prohibiting it is ridiculous? Extramarital sex is also prevalent but it's considered bad? double standards?

but i guess the difference there is that masturbation is a personal thing whereas when you have an affair you hurt the other person in the relationship? so when u hurt other people's feelings it's bad? so if your spouse doesn't care then it's ok?

hhhm. I dunno man. read a report that 25% of men unknowingly raise children that are not biologically theirs. wow. that's a lot. I guess that's American men, not worldwide men, though. wonder if it's the same figure worldwide? probably it's lower in those african societies where the men sew their wives' vaginas up....? but hey, if you tear it you can always just sew it up again, right?

*ouch*

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Soldier -- Rupert Brooke

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England's, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home.

And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.


I like poems about death..... =P.... somehow Life never seems so sweet and precious until you're about to lose it.

I need to write a bio for A*Star, to put on their 'Voices of Scholars' webpage. HOW??? I don't wanna to write a gushing I-Love-Research-Thank-You-Astar report! But what can I write instead? I was thinking of a what-I-have-learnt kinda thing but that seems so arrogant and pompous. how? I dun think my usual self-deprecating humor will look good on the webpage.... they probably want some sort of confirmation that the S'porean tax money is grooming brilliant scientific minds.... but I'm not sure I have a brilliant scientific mind, nor am I quite sure how to give an impression that I possess such an asset. writing a 50 page report on the life habits of apple snails would have been so much easier. =X

crap.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Depressed.

sigh... so. update on my luggage fiasco:

personally drove up to SFO last night to try and resolve this issue. there they checked and looked at my lost luggage form etc. then the guy said, "Where did you file this claim?"

"Right here. at this very desk."

"Oh... because you're not the system at all. the claim was never filed. I'll have to file the claim for you now."

"Erm. Huh? What happened?"

"Well...." *shrug* "These things happen. Maybe the other person forgot to press 'Enter', so your info never got into our system. I'll file the claim now. Call us in 2-3 days."

"Call this 1800 number? It's really hard to get through. Last time it took me 1hr on hold."

"Yeah. we're really short-handed. Nothing we can do. Try calling very late at night."


WHAT THE F!@K!!!!!


I still have no contact lenses, and I WANT MY MAGGI INSTANT PORRIDGE.

*deep breathing exercises*

oh, the glorious experience of air travel.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Roald Dahl

From the New Yorker (July 11 & 18, 2005):

There is evidence that (Dahl) thought about childhood in a way that placed struggle and conflict at the center of things, much as psychoanalysis does. "I have very strong and almost profound views on how a child has to fight its way through life and grow up to the age of, let's say, twelve," Dahl told a BBC interviewer in 1988. "All their lives they're being disciplined. When you're born... you're an uncivilised creature. And... if you are going to become civilized and become a member of the community, you're going to have to be disciplined. Severly... And who does the disciplining? It is two people. It's the parents.... Although the child loves her mother and father, they are subconsciously the enemy. There's a fine line, I think, between loving your parents deeply and resenting them."

(Dahl's stories) inspire in children a sense that life "is not only a pleasure but an eccentric privilege." Dahl's critics fail to recognize that his stories don't merely indulge a child's fantasies-- they replenish them.

[the italics are my own]
------------------------------

*grin*.... it's always enlightening to have someone tell you why you like something.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Who is John Galt?

The hero of Ayn Rand's bk Atlas Shrugged. That book has cost me at least 6 hrs of time that could have been sleep. =X

I like it, but it's a bit too preachy. It's a philosophical treatise cleverly disguised as a work of fiction. Her characters go on and on in long tirades that span pages and pages. after a couple paragraphs into their speeches the characters (in my head) morph into Ayn Rand standing at a podium of some philosophical conference. I mean, Come ON. I get the point after a while. No need to take me for an idiot, and repeat urself another 25 times.

I dun wanna talk about the anti-communism theme of the book, 'cos after pages and pages of it, I've gotten pretty bored. but there were other issues that were interesting.

Frm the bk:


"Do you still need proof that I'm always waiting for you?" she asked, ... ...
"Why is it that most women would never admit that, but you do?"
"Because they're never sure that they ought to be wanted. I am."


"Are you saying," he asked slowly, "that I rose in your estimation when you found that I wanted you?"
"Of course."
"That's not the reaction of most people to being wanted."
"It isn't."
"Most people feel that they rise in their own eyes, if others want them."
"I feel that others live up to me, if they want me."


"Money is only a tool... It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires... Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek."

[hhm. so true. like vacuum cleaners are just tools. You think that once you get one, life will be perfect. You dun realise that YOU have got to drive the damn thing around in order to get a nice clean carpet.]

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

tick tock

it's august! i feel my last days at home marching inexorably away. was at MP library Monday, and stumbled upon 'Fascist Rock' by Claire Tham in the S'pore section. had wandered over to that part of the library, not really expecting much, and was pleasantly surprised after reading the first page. Apparently, she was only 23 when 'Fascist Rock' was published. I was amazed at how everything her protagonists said found a resonanting chord within me. It's mostly about young Singaporeans contrained by the small-ness of everything on this island. you wanna blast urself into outer space but you force urself to conform to the ideal of good grades and (fairly) good behavior because it's the only way u're gonna get out.

sometimes i think that nothing i do will matter. no matter how well i do at stanford, i'm gonna end up in Biopolis, a dutiful and well-oiled cog in the singapore machinery. a statistic to be wielded by politicians in their never-ending need for self assurance.

but i really like being home! mebbe it's cos i'm on holiday?

am reading 'DUNE'. it's good! a classic.

there's a line in it that sez something like "you can only miss people, you can't miss a place." i dunno. I do sorta miss places, i think. i guess u can argue that places can trigger memories of people whom you miss... but not always, yar? like i've heard people dream wistfully of their bed at home, so comfortable n big n pillow-ed. surely there're no people associated with that? whatever lah. too technical.

random fact. reader's digest say that everyone dreams in colour. it's just that sometimes you dun remember the colour. or dun register it. my question is: how do they know that?????!?? can they look into ur mind when u dream??? how many subjects did they test to get this result?? it kinda scary that they can just state this morsel of knowledge with such confidence.