Monday, March 24, 2008
Explosion
xiao mei is off for break. clearly, the only bright spark in my life now is the roll of dark chocolate digestive biscuits sitting on my desk.
Just watched "Lust, Caution", the film directed by Ang Lee about the head of the Taiwanese secret service (Tony Leung) during the Japanese occupation, and a young student (Tang Wei) roped in by the resistance movement to become his mistress in order to spy on him and eventually help kill him. There's all this outrage about the film because it has some very graphic sex scenes. But after watching the show, I think that those scenes are actually necessary for plot development. Perhaps not quite as many? But at least some of them are needed. Because they demonstrate Tony Leung's dominating character, so that when Tang Wei tells her spy master to hurry up and kill Tony Leung because he is burrowing into her heart and soul, you see the empty look in her eyes, and you remember all the sex scenes, you just FEEL for this poor woman. And when the spy master simply leaves the room without ONE WORD of consolation or apology, both char and I were like "WTF!! What is WRONG with these men?"
*sigh*
Joanna was saying that women find it hard to divorce physical intimacy with emotional intimacy. Actually, I think it's probably true for most men too. Raul was telling me about his friend who was with this girl, but told Raul that it was 'just for the sex'--- but after 3 months he became all lovey-dovey and emotionally needy.
Haven't read much in a while. Am trying to take time off to write my thesis. So far, progress has been excruciatingly slow. No motivation. But today I met Nancy who defended in Dec and just turned in her thesis. And Serena has set her defense date for May.
WTF am I doing? I feel like I'm losing focus. It's hard to maintain focus because it's such a long process. I think: Ok, I need to do expt A, B and C. But expt A takes 1 month to set up (waiting for mice to breed), and 1 month to see results, and it's similar for expt B and C. so meanwhile I try to write, but I get distracted and depressed because it's taking so damn long.
I thought that maybe taiji will teach me to be calm. But I've done taiji for 3-4 yrs now and I don't think I'm any calmer than before.
Maybe Lena is right. We need to set up a thesis support group. I need someone to hold me accountable for my work. Define clear goals. 10 achievable steps to success.
1. Write chapter outlines. Decide roughly what figures and tables are needed where.
2. Plan out what other expts need to be done to fill in the blanks
3. Do the expts
4. Write chapter 2.
5. Write chapter 3.
6. Write chapter 4.
7. Write chapter 1 (intro)
8. Write last chapter.
9. Write abstract.
10. Proof read.
There! with these '10 Steps to Success', I CANNOT FAIL!!!
*mwuahahahahah*
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Final day in Lima, and final thoughts about Peru
Instead, that afternoon we catch a bus to Lima Centrale. That was definately an experience. The main plaza was filled (as usual) with lovely colonial buildings. We were intrigued by the presence of a police armored vehicle with a water cannon mounted on its roof:
We also went to Chinatown. It was the most chaotic Chinatown I've ever seen. In my entire life. There were people EVERYWHERE. and half of them were trying to sell you underwear, skipping ropes, brooms... it was incredible. Also of note were the men with the big boobs and cute behinds:
*grin*
We had a good time exploring Chinatown. Not much else to say about Lima, apart from the fact that Chris, whom we first met on day 1 without his camera, is STILL at the Samay Wasi, waiting for his mother to send him a new one.
In summary, Peru was awesome. The food was generally good, the sights were spectacular, the people were friendly, and the entire south american vibe was weird and wonderful. Much thanks to JM, Jon, Bert and Char for coming along, and being great travel companions. (One observation about traveling with guys-- they are ALWAYS hungry. ALWAYS.)
I also got a deep dark tan, and nice rosy cheeks that last to this day.
My next trip: Bolivia! Details to follow next year. =).
Monday, February 04, 2008
Machu Picchu At Last!
Upon entering the site, we dutifully take the first left turn as instructed by the guidebook, and emerge upon a terrace with the classic postcard view of Machu Picchu:
There! Isn't it pretty??? Note how the mountains behind kinda looks like the face of an Inca -- on the right is the forehead, the big one (Wayna Picchu) is the nose, followed by the lips and the chin. Cool, right?? At the time the picture was taken, the sun was still taking it's time to emerge from behind the surrounding mountains, so only Wayna Picchu is nicely illuminated. But when the sun came completely out, the view was even more spectacular.
We spent the next couple hours just exploring the site,
glorifying at the incredible stonework,
watching the free-roaming llamas that were grazing on the grass,
and climbing Wayna Picchu.
It was great. I was almost afraid of going because with such anticipation, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. But MP did not disappoint. It was every bit as beautiful and spectacular and wonderful as all the guidebooks and blogs and websites say it is. I mean, it's a charming stone-city set atop a hill, surrounded by awe-inspiring mountains. Just the sun reflecting off the buildings is cool. Add the lush surroundings and you've got a sure-winner. It's amazing to imagine the Incans living here, terracing the slopes, running off on the trail to other cities... btw, the rows upon rows of agricultural terraces make me dizzy. If you're an Incan suffering from vertigo, you're in big big trouble.
Then we took the bus back and looked for lunch. To our amazement and delight, all the restuarants at Aguas Calientes had cuy! Finally! They roast it in a stone oven, and it tastes pretty good. A little stringy (think tough village chicken) but I like the slight chewyness. Charmaine couldn't eat very much because she kept thinking of how cute they look when they were alive-- ironic because she was such a proponent of eating cuy in the first place.
Not much else to say about MP. The next morning we returned to Cusco, and the morning after flew back to Lima. One quick observation about the Cusco airport: it kinda worked like a bus terminal: We check in, and give them our bags. They staple number tags on your bag, put them on a cart, and bring it to the back of the office, which leads to.... the runway. It was a bit of a surprise. but we ended up safely in Lima, so all is well.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Cusco and the Sacred Valley
After an epic 9hr bus ride from Puno to Cusco (involving a bus driver who would stop for inordinately long and unexplainable lengths of time; loud latin music, all of which seem to be lamenting this woman named 'Mariesol'; lights that would flash on and off; a little girl that started playing footsie with me...), we finally arrive with our nerves shaken, but intact. We drop our bags off at the Pirwa Hotel at the Plaza de San Francisco (nice place, free internet, but barely any hot water in the evenings), and head to the Plaza des Armes for some chow.
Cusco is wonderfully quaint. Cobblestone streets, narrow roadways, beautiful plazas. Unfortunately, the Plaza is a huge tourist trap. We were immediately accosted by one heckler after another, promoting this bar, or that restaurant, promising free Pisco Sours, etc. Didn't help that it was 10pm, and there were hardly any tourists around except us. Still. We wanted to have guinea pig (cuy), but it takes 2 hrs to prepare, so we settled for a place that had alpaca meat. Alpaca is a llama relative. 100% alpaca wool feels like merino, but smoother, and is well worth the hefty price tag. Alpaca meat is very tender-- slightly more succulent than beef. But it has a slight gamy-ness, though not as strong as lamb. It reminds me of venison. I really liked it. *salivating at the memory*
The next day was Christmas eve! The entire stretch of Plaza de SF - Plaza des Armes became a huge fair/market. Vendors had little stalls as far as the eye could see, selling typical Christmas wares-- fireworks, fruit cake, brandy, and cute little animal figurines for DIY nativity scenes!!! There was also the usual tourist stuff. It was fun. We were very tempted to buy a fruitcake. None of us liked fruitcake... but we somehow felt this incredible peer pressure (?) to get one, since they were everywhere, and everyone seemed to be buying them. I am happy to report our success at resisting temptation. Instead, we bought our train tix to MP and took a collectivo taxi to Ollantaytambo in the Sacred Valley. (On the way, our driver made a stop at his home in Urubamba, so he could drop off some tires with his parents. We were told to hang out at the Plaza to take pictures...)
The next day, we decided to explore the ruins at Pisac. It's an Incan fortress perched on the hillside, and the entire site is way larger than MP. It was surprisingly fun to explore. The guys especially were scrambling up the omg-are-these-steps-or-crumbling-slides, going through the tunnels, climbing to the top of little outposts etc with evident enjoyment. Charmaine and I were pretending to be Incan guards on patrol, scanning the hills opposite and valley floor below for signs of invaders. It was great!!! We also met a German couple who had lived in Singapore for some years, and were delighted to once again meet *german accent*: "SING-GA-PORE GIRLS".
We search in vain for cuy (guinea pig) for lunch. After lunch, I finally ask a nice man if he's heard of these 'castles of cuy'. We follow his directions, and end up... HERE:
Oh Joy! They are so cute! And they make cute gobbledy noises! We're really upset that we didn't find this place before lunch, although how would we be able to eat roast cuy while sitting next to their adorable and alive brethren???
Ah well. We catch a bus back to Olly, passing towns that had multiple processions of maidens in white dresses and weird face masks, in celebration of Christmas (Navidad). ???
That evening we take the train to Aguas Calientes, the nearest town to MP.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Lake Titicaca and the Uros
From Arequipa, we call Cristina to arrange pick up from the Puno bus terminal. We were met by Mariebelle, Cristina's daughter. In the taxi to the lake, I try to make conversation, but my spanish is woefully inadequate. Char was in the 2nd taxi so i was missing my translator.. We end up smiling a lot at each other. Mariebelle seems like a very happy person.
At the lake we were met by Victor, and his reed boat! He rows us to the island-- Isla Qhantati. Words fail to adequately express our wonder and joy at this moment. The reed boat is so cool! The sun was marvelous! Victor was wearing this cute woolen cap! And telling us about the lake and the ducks and the totora... He tells us that each boat takes 1 month to make, and uses many bundles of totora, and 200 plastic bottles (a modern innovation). They slowly soak up water, becoming harder and harder to row, and are retired after 18-24mths. We make a mental note to give them our water bottles before we leave the island.
After navigating through a maze of reeds, we arrive at the Uros village (?), and Isla Qhantati. The island is not very big-- maybe about 10 huts, housing 5 families. (when an island gets too small for the families, they simply make a new island) It's next to many other islands, all of them anchored to poles driven into the mud. The 'floor' is made of layers of totora, which is invitingly fresh, and springy to walk on. All the Uros walk around in bare feet, but Victor advises us to wear shoes, because some of the reeds can be sharp.
Victor tells us about the history of the Uros, about how they were fishermen, who traded with the other Andean tribes. However, when the Spanish came, half the tribe fled to Bolivia, and the other half decided to escape by living on the floating reed beds in the shallow part of the lake. They still make a living by fishing, and trade fish for other necessities at the market. However, they are now also doing the tourism thing to make money to send their kids to university. Victor proudly shows us the modern improvements they have made to Qhantati-- they have solar panels, a porta-potty (for the tourists), and a little garden made from composted reeds.
In the evening, after a delicious meal, we meet the extended family, who express their delight at meeting us. They sing us a traditional song in Aymara, about the sun, the lake, and the waters of their fathers, and also a song in Quechua about being happy that the sun is shining. They then launch into an impressive repetoire of songs that other guests have taught them, in spanish, english, french and german-- one of which is 'My Bonnie lies over the ocean'. It was quite surreal. We feel obliged to also share a song. In the end, we teach them a song in mandarin about 3 little mice, and a song in english about catching fish alive..... not quite a fair cultural exchange, I felt. Here we were learning about their amazing traditions, and the bond they have with the reeds and the lake, and the only thing we can offer them about our culture is a song about 3 mice.
*sigh*
The next day was equally fabulous and enchanting. Early in the morning we went out to harvest the fishing nets that were placed the afternoon before. Victor kindly let us 'help' untangle the fish from the net. He told us that the yellow-bellied ones were female, with more fat, which is good for the brain. Apparently the Uros children are fed a lot of this brain-food, so they become very smart. =)
When we got back Victor teaches us how to weave thread around small strips of totora to make a sun-pattern. The sun is one of the most important elements, and features heavily in their crafts and embroidery. We are extremely slow learners, but Victor is a patient man.
Lunch is truncha from their fish pond! Cristina removes the spine, and stuffs it with tomato, garlic and cilantro. It is then wrapped in aluminium foil, and baked in the sun. It is AMAZING.
Unfortunately, we had to leave for Cusco that afternoon, and could not enjoy more of Victor's and Cristina's hospitality. It was the most meaningful experience I had in Peru, and I would do it a hundred times over. Highly highly recommended. However, they don't speak much english. So if you have zero spanish ability, please go take a class or two before going, or beg a spanish speaking friend (thank you Charmaine) to come along.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Arequipa, and the Life-changing Colca Canyon
We take a short nap, then go out to explore. The main plaza (Plaza des Armes) is extremely nice. There's a big cathedral on one side, and low colonial buildings on the other 3 sides. The square in the middle had a lovely fountain, nice trees and flowers, park benches, multitudes of pigeons... Charmaine was delighted to see that there was a protest going on. Many people were holding up banners... Didn't bring the dictionary, so don't know what the banners were saying... something about the judiciary(?) The protesters were also delighted to see us. When C went forward to take a picture of them, they shouted 'Chino!', and waved.
After lunch, we went 'shopping' for a Colca Canyon tour. The Colca canyon, which reaches depths of 3400 ft, is more than twice as deep as the Grand Canyon (1600ft)! We choose a 2D/1N trek from a cute tour operator named Lady. She assured us that it would be an easy-moderate hike: the guide will pick us up at 1am, we'll take a 6hr bus ride to Cabanaconde (town on canyon rim), get breakfast. Hike down to the canyon floor takes 3hrs. After lunch, we'll meander ard the canyon floor, passing several villages. 3hrs later, we shd arrive at our final village, where we relax, have dinner, then sleep. Next morning we'll wake up at 3am, hike up the canyon (3-4hr) back to Cabanaconde.
At 1am, we wait expectantly for the guide.
At 2am, we give up waiting and go back to sleep
At 2.10am, we hear a knock on the door. It's Lady, our travel agent! Apparently the guide could not find the hostel, gave up, and left for Colca without us. Lady hustles us into a taxi, and gets us tickets for the next bus to Colca.
10am, we arrive at Cabanaconde. The guide (Anhil) is there with the rest of our group-- 2 Israeli girls (Maya and her sister A--). We start hiking down the Canyon. 2hrs later, we're still hiking down. Man... this canyon goes on Forever! We can see the bottom, but it's taking a heck of a long time to get there. Also, the path is often sandy and gravelly. And Bert and Char have bad knees. This is harder than we'd thought... Conversation became as thin as the air.
1pm, we reach the bottom! Yay. Now for a short but extremely steep section up to the lunch spot. But finally! Lunch! We are so tired. Lunch was a great onion-quinoa soup, followed by tofu with rice (apparently one of the Israelis is vegetarian and had requested a veg-menu). Quinoa is an important Andean grain, regarded as the "Mother of all grains" by the Incas. An extremely interesting page about quinoa can be found on wikipedia.
After lunch, we start hiking again. The canyon is pretty green and lush this time of year, and we see random vegetation, as well as fruit trees and maize. The trail gets pretty interesting-- we were hopping over streams, and walking through a field... Oops. In front of us was a massive gully. Er. The guide mutters something, then instructs us to wait in the field. Apparently we had missed a right turn, followed a cow-route, and were now in prime grazing property.
*sigh*
we retrace our steps, and were once again on the right path. we hit the gully again, but this time there was a steep trail leading down, and a dauntingly long n steep trail leading back up. wow. this trek is turning out to be a journey of epic proportions.
suffice to say we finally make it up, and walk for roughly another hour (downhill again!?! why can't these !$^#&* people make trails on level ground?) to the final village of the day. To top things off, it was rapidly getting dark, there were storm clouds above, and it started raining towards the end.
At the village we gratefully sank onto the beds provided, in little huts with dirt floors. Although the showers were COLD, I was just so grateful to be 1) clean and 2) not walking.
The next morning, we wake up at 2am to begin our ascent back into civilization. It is a steep trail with never ending switchbacks. Charmaine was really suffering through this. Her knees had taken a beating throughout the 3 hr descent the day before, she had flat feet so her arches were just dying with every step, she was tired, and we forgot to bring food for the way up (our luggage was being carried up by a mule that would start the ascent an hour later). Our superhuman guide must have been part mountain-goat, because he showed zero signs of fatigue.
When the mules started to overtake us, one of the guys offered us a ride up for 25 soles. Char gratefully accepted, and trouped off ahead. The rest of us trudged determinedly onwards. I'm not sure how all of us survived and made it up, but finally, one of the summits ahead was indeed the true summit (and not yet another evil imposter). As I emerged onto the plain above, the sun lighting the mountains in the distance with its magical alpen glow, the town where breakfast would be served clearly in sight... emotion welled in my chest.
Unfortunately, our guide managed to get us lost again on the way to breakfast. It was another 20mins to the Most Amazing hot tea, eggs, bread and jam that I have ever had the privilege of consuming.
The rest of the day was mostly uneventful. We went to the Cruz del Condor, but couldn't see any condors because of the heavy mist, then returned to Arequipa via the town of Chivay (pronounced 'chee-vai'-- this has disturbing similarities to a swear word in hokkien). But that day was also the day of our most amazing Peruvian shower, and our most delicious dinner (3kg of fried pork: chicharrón de chancho with our tour operator Lady).
We left Arequipa the next morning for the town of Puno, at Lake Titicaca.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Onward: To Nazca, and Beyond!
The bus ride was supremely boring, and was not at all assuaged by their choice of in-flight movies: Broken Arrow, Cheaper by the Dozen, Sorority Boys and Jewel of the Nile, all dubbed in spanish, with No Subtitles. As we rolled by sand dune after sand dune, I definitely had a mild 'why am I here' existential moment... But I must say that compared to the sardine-like chicken buses in Guatemala, Peruvian buses were a lot more comfortable-- with assigned seating (only 1 person per seat!) and even movies.
That night, we celebrated JM's birthday with Pisco sours (pisco is a peruvian grape brandy) and our first taste of Lomo Saltado (a 'tipycal' dish: strips of beef fried with onions and french fries-- tasted pretty good, and actually a little asian...). Back in the hotel, we went to bed early, in preparation for our early morning tour of the Nazca Lines.
Unfortunately, sometime ard 4am, we were vaguely awakened by mosquitoes, roosters, noises from a fiesta, and by people stomping around outside our room. Bert told us the next morning that he was convinced that the people outside were preparing to storm our room to kidnap us and our valuables... Um. Perhaps those nefarious characters were aware that we had 2 highly trained military personnel in the room (B & JM); Suffice to say that the noises eventually died down (hopefully someone managed to strangle the rooster) and we drifted back to sleep.
Anyways. The highlight of our Nasca adventure was the famous Nazca Lines! These are massive geoglyphs (drawings on the ground) found in the gravel-desert near the town of Nasca. While it is now widely accepted that the lines were created by the Nasca culture sometime ard 200BC and AD700, there was a theory that the lines were made by aliens!?! You can read about one attempt to disprove the alien theory-- by recreating one of the Nasca figures in a field in Kentucky-- here. I also like the Nasca info pages by BBC and the Discovery Channel.

The best way to see the lines is by plane. For US$40pax, you can hire a teeny weeny (non-polka dotted) plane to fly u over the lines. These planes seat 4-6 people total, and the pilots are extremely anxious that u get a good view of the lines-- ours obligingly tilted the plane nearly 90degrees to the right and left, to ensure that we don't miss out on the marvels of the whale, dog, monkey etc etc... My stomach was definately regretting the one cookie I had for breakfast.
After the over-flight, we arranged for a tour of the Chauchilla cemetery. The Nascans mummified their dead, and buried them in small underground tombs with objects that they'll need in the afterlife-- gold, pottery, some textiles, tools.... The chauchilla cemetery is estimated to contain about 5000 tombs!! The mummies are quite, quite macabre. There were even babies and children...
The gut-churning flight, in addition to the mummies, left us in no mood for lunch. We basically spent the rest of the day hanging out in the hotel lobby, playing cards, then caught a night bus to Arequipa.
Peru 1: Hola Lima
To start at the beginning.....
Last yr's trip to Guatemala was but a detour from our ultimate destination: Perú! I was convinced that I needed to see Machu Picchu before I die. This year, our merry band consisted of Bert, Jon, Jianmin, Charmaine, n myself.
We were much better prepared this time! Both Char n I had taken a quarter of Spanish, and C summered for a month in Argentina. Also, I had spent a lot more time bonding with my Peru guidebook, and drew up a rough plan on my post-it pad. Best of all, we had pre-booked our 1st night in Lima, and someone would get us frm the airport.
The adventure started at SFO: arriving in plenty of time to check in, we were horrified to find a sea of people and luggage at the TACA counter. After 1.5hrs of standing in line, and listening to the guy behind us (Mike) talk about himself and all the Silicon Valley bigwigs he knows and whom invite him to their houses in Carmel, we finally make it onto our flight and arrived in Lima without further mishap.
Our Lima hostel was in the tourist district of Miraflores, a lovely beachside district. Monica at the hostel recommended that we go to the LarcoMar mall-- a frou-frou hangout for trendy Limeños and tourists. Our first Peruvian dinner consisted of risotto, seafood paella, seabass, and ceviche. Ceviche is raw seafood marinated in lime juice, and the citric acid denatures the proteins, so it tastes cooked. Read about it on wikipedia here.
The next day, we wake up to find that Jianmin had arrived safely from Cornell. His flight was actually due 2 hours before ours, and throughout the night we had been envisioning all the possible gruesome kidnapping scenarios that might have befallen him. It wasn't helpful that some guy at the hostel (Chris) had just returned that evening from central Lima, after having 2 guys attack his Adam's apple and running off with his bag and camera. Chris was now spending the night commiserating with a Korean girl who had had her bag stolen in a bar at Cusco.
Turns out, JM had not been kidnapped. His flight was delayed due to bad weather, and he also spent some time in an interrogation room in Columbia during his stopover in Bogota. (I'm not too clear about the details here. gotta ask him yourself)
Saturday, December 08, 2007
notes
So here is an abbreviated version of my death/life notes:
To my family:
Thank you for everything. And don't worry-- my/our superior genes will be passed on through you. It's been fantastic to know that I can always depend on your support, and I constantly draw strength from that.
To Ouyang, Luz, Len, Mark n Lucas:
This sounds super cheesy, but I'm actually convinced that we'll be friends forever. And if there's an afterlife, I won't be surprised if we were friends there too-- and maybe by that time, the guys will have learnt to walk slowly enough that they don't lose us all the time--- but maybe not.
To Lisa:
Sometimes I feel like you know me better than I know myself. I don't think I need to say anything here-- you can probably write this for me. Thank you for being you.
To taiji people:
Hold the ball. And if other groups try to steal our space again, chase them away with your sword. Contrary to what ZLS believes, controlled rage does not conflict with the principles of taiji.
To 小妹:
Well, if I die in Peru I'm not sure how alive you'll be.. But it's been a whale of a ride, and I know we'll have more fun times. Keep your knees (and all other body parts) functional, k?
To everyone else:
Too many people to list. If you're reading this, pls know that I'm thinking of you right now but am too lazy to type your name here because if so I'll be writing until I die and that defeats the whole purpose of this note. At 3am, I can sincerely say that I feel nothing but love for the world, and that YOU have touched my life and it will never be the same again. This leads to very interesting thoughts about parallel universes... but that discussion will have to wait for another time.
Ok. yay. now that I'm done with my notes, if I were given only X amt of time to live I won't have to spend all of it writing this note because it's already written. Instead I would be able to do other things, like um.... eat magic mushrooms, or er... fulfill other deep dangerous desires.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
bowling for soup
It's written as a series of letters from a woman to her husband, talking about their son, who had locked 11 people up in his high sch gym, and shot them.
The book is making me confront several personal issues, including
1) My long-held belief that I never will have children, and that I Should Not have children.
2) What can happen if one becomes disaffected/depressed/desperate
3) finding purpose
It also made me think about general stuff like
4) Teenagers
5) Education
6) Expectations
So.. it's quite heavy reading, and taxing both cerebrally and emotionally. It's nice that it's in a book-- seems like the kind of novel just screaming out to be made into a movie. but during a 2hr movie everything moves so fast, and you can't stop to chew on it for a day or two, and pick it up again later.
--------------------
Was talking to Joanna about the state of the economy/world/social order etc. It's very comforting to know people who are optimistic and hopeful about human nature, and who are taking steps to rectify injustices and help others.
I guess it's so easy to feel like nothing you can do will actually make a difference, so why bother. Better to run around making money so at least you have the option to make a larger contribution in future. And it's even easier once you've taken that step, to sink into the never-ending vicious cycle of Not-yet-I-don't-have-enough.
But when I wake up everyday I don't instinctively think about the millions of dispossessed poor. Should I be?? Why and/or why not??
Joanna says that in history, whenever there's been income disparity and corruption of this magnitude, the civilization will collapse. I dunno about collapse.. and she also admits that she doesn't believe that what happened to the Romans will happen now, partly because this whole thing is happening on a global scale. You can't have other civilizations rising to take the place of the old one because right now the entire world is so connected and the US has such a hegemony that if it completely collapses it'll take everyone down with it. It's like Peiyee mentioned about small banks in Germany going bust because of this subprime issue in America.
I think that the crash is inevitable. The only thing that governments, financial instituitions etc can do is plan how best to minimise impact, pick up the pieces, and try to stop such events from happening again. I'm not sure if delaying the crash will increase or decrease its effect. But I'm not an economist. I don't understand a lot of this. And I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this heightened awareness I'm cultivating about the economy n etc.
-------------------
I really really have to sleep.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
A Spot Of Bother
He also wrote "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" about a boy with autism.
A spot of bother is about a recent retiree who discovers eczema on his hip and becomes convinced that it is cancer and that he is going to die. However, he's an old dignified Englishman, who doesn't want to trouble anyone, least of all his wife, who he one day discovers is having an affair.
If I were a book reviewer I would call it "darkly funny" and "honest". [Although Lisa and I have learnt not to trust any film that is "darkly funny" because that is film critic code for "Not humorous at all. Just extremely weird and almost painful to watch."]
Anyways, the book made me think about
1) Retirement
This is jumping the gun a little-- even worse than Leonard's thinking about divorce.... But my goal has always been to retire early. Make $5 million dollars, then get out. Live off the interest. Yet... today at the supermarket I realised that inflation has reared it's ugly head... milk in safeway is $2.50/half gallon, $4.69/gallon. Insane. Used to be $2/half gallon. That's a 25% increase. Well... good thing my stipend has gone up to $2100/mth from $2000/mth. Truly, A*STAR makes me feel so loved.
Anyways. Moral of the story... I should raise my estimate to $10 million.
But I asked BS today what was his ideal retirement, and he said that ideally he would never retire-- that he'd be able to work a little forever and ever, and get paid for it too.
Yeah... I'm glad the world has people like BS. So the rest of us can slack.
2) Dying
In line with my early retirement plan is my early death plan. I've been thinking about Robert McGough's poem:
Let me die a young man's death
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death
When I'm 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party
Or when I'm 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber's chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns
burst in and give me a short back and insides
Or when I'm 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one
Let me die a young man's death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
'what a nice way to go' death
I totally disagree man. Especially about the living-till-104 part. Perhaps in 2080 living till 200yrs old will be commonplace. But perhaps not. Homo sapiens are not designed to live so long.
I wonder if there will be other species in the genus Homo after Homo sapiens.... But perhaps there will be another Ice Age soon, and we'll be wiped out all together? I've been watching the NBC drama "Heroes". It's very gripping. I don't agree with any of the science, but it makes for a great story--- people with super powers who want to do good, a pervading sense of destiny, a race to stop a foretold tragedy, powerful mysterious people who may be good or bad, husbands and wives and brothers and sisters and friends --- very addictive.
----------------
Back to 'a spot of bother': Like the protagonist in the book, I want to die a sudden death. None of this suffer-for-a-long-time stuff. Ever since I watched the movie 'Final Destination' (the first one, not the sequels), I've fantasized about getting hit by a bus.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
yay
I've been keeping busy by watching Taiwanese dramas online. Was hooked on 'Devil Beside Me' (恶魔在身边) starring Mike He and Rainie Yang. This drama is apparently classified as an 'idol film' (偶像片) becos the actors/actresses are super hunky/chio. Mike He is definately drool-worthy; Rainie Yang is uber-cute, AND she sings well.. *sigh*... life is not fair. =X
I have mixed feelings about Rainie Yang's cuteness. The I-love-small-children part of me wants to rush up to hug her and protect her from the world, and the small-children-are-super-manipulative-they-should-all-
be-kept-in-a-box-until-they-grow-up part of me is cringing and disgusted that she uses these act-cute tactics. Found a video on youtube where she's actually discussing with the talk show host about how to act cute and the appropriate time and place etc.
Despite my disgust at Rainie's 下贱 technique, I must admit that most girls have finely honed strategies of 'persuasion' that work on the opposite sex, whether it's the 'wide-eyed cute look', or the 'petulent pout', or the 'silent anger treatment' etc. Of course, as Rainie mentions in the video, you can't use it too often, or it loses it's effectiveness.
I've been trying to work on a technique that will work on girls, but so far have not had any success. On the contrary: upon being treated to my multiple strategies, instead of giving in to my requests, my female friends convulse in laughter. This is quite disturbing. Guys: any advice??
warning: the video is kinda long, the how-to-be-cute part comes in the 2nd half
Friday, September 07, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Lost, I Stand Alone.
It kinda freaked me out. It's about this group of Evangelicals who run a summer camp for kids, in the name of bringing them closer to God. However, it's actually an insidious campaign to inculcate their political beliefs into 5-12 yr olds. The movie focuses on the abortion issue but I'm sure creationism, global warming, homosexuality etc etc are also mentioned in these camps.
The kids in the film are really into Jesus/God/Holy Spirit, which is not necessarily a bad thing. And while it's true that moral values should be taught when young, i think that representing global warming as 'nothing to worry about', and teaching that the earth was created 6000 yrs ago is just WRONG... I think that if people don't believe in overwhelming scientific evidence, then they shouldn't believe in television, or satellites, or DNA testing, or any of the rest of it..... If these people are truly in touch with the Holy Spirit, and if God is a Good God.... how can it be telling them to keep driving their SUVs and to teach their kids all this???
I'm more convinced than ever that the way to take over the world is with a cult of brilliant, fervent kids, who believe everything you tell them because that's all they hear. Look at the young suicide bombers in the Middle East, the children in Nazi Germany.... it's so important to catch them when they're young... and idealize 'death for the cause', because once they grow up they might start to think for themselves. I think 12 yrs old is the maximum age. Puberty is the enemy.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The problem of pain
1) he can never be absolutely sure that things will work out in the end, for
2) he has no power at all over my experiments, and therefore
3) his statement only gives me false hope, and depresses me even more because it's said with such easy confidence. Everyone seems to have such expectations that I'll do fine, but they are not the ones doing failed experiment after failed experiment and rapidly running out of ideas to try and getting increasingly frantic..... *AARRRRRRGGGRGRHHHHH*
*deep breath*
SO. I've decided to make this 101th post a little tutorial about how to react to your grad student (GS) friends when they get depressed over work.
Strategy 1 -- distraction with comfort food
GS: I want to die.
Savvy Sympathizer: You poor thing. Let me buy you bubble tea/icecream/chocolate/egg tarts.
Strategy 2 -- distraction with other activities
GS: My experiments never work.
SS: I'm going to do [insert something wonderful and exciting which doesn't involve a pipette]. Wanna come?
Strategy 3 -- wise counsel
GS: My mice are (not) dying!! WHY?????
SS: Have you tried feeding them sunflower seeds? Apparently that improves their telepathy skills, and makes them tell you exactly what you're doing wrong.
Strategy 4 -- blessed relief
GS: My life is hell.
SS: *Whacks GS on the head with a heavy blunt instrument*
Negative demonstration (On NO ACCOUNT should this be tried at home)
GS: I'm never going to graduate!!
Sympathizer: Don't worry, I'm SURE things will work out in the end.
GS: *Whacks S on the head with heavy blunt instrument, and throws him out thru the window*
------------------------------
Oh.. and despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm actually doing ok. I've been practicing detachment, and it's working really well!! My suicidal tendencies are kept (mostly) in check, and surface only when people ask me, "So when are you graduating?"
I'll try to blog about happier things next time. Was at the bookstore and there was a book called "No one cares what you had for lunch -- 100 ideas for your blog." In it, the author wrote that even though it is tempting to use one's blog as a stage to gripe and whine, sometimes writing about happy things makes for a much more entertaining read.
I'm still mulling over that thought. And I tend to disagree. I think I am at my most entertaining when I'm ranting. Which brings me to a disturbing question: what if I'm at my happiest when I'm unhappy??
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
100th post!!
1) find pi to 100 significant figures
2) state 100 reasons for blogging
3) find 100 solutions to Global Warming
4) write a 100 word poem
5) embed a video of 100 attempts to stand on my head
*sigh*. I am wholly disappointed with my inability to bestow this post with the pomp and circumstance that it deserves.
random question: who is The Man? I was watching Sch of Rock (entertaining movie. classic teacher-inspiration plot with a slight unorthodox angle-- kinda like Dead Poet's Society but not as good). Anyways, apparently in Rock music, the aim is to "stick it to The Man"....
Dewey Finn: You want me to teach you something? What? You want to learn something? Alright, here's a useful lesson: Give up! Just quit! Because in this life you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end your just gonna lose, BIG TIME! Because the world is run by the man!
Frankie (Angelo Massagli): Who?
Dewey: The man. Oh, you don't know the man? The man's everywhere: in the White House, down the hall, Miss Mullins; she's the man! And the man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! Okay! And there used to be a way to stick it to the man, it was called rock 'n roll. But guess what? Oh no! The man had to ruin that too with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the man's just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourself a favor and just give up!
---------
when I was trying to find the above quote on google i also saw this website about 'rethinking education'. 2 choice paras:
But throughout the movie, the students' attitudes about their education are clearly shifting-in a positive direction. In the climactic scene where the band performs, the students sing to an awestruck crowd that includes their parents: "Maybe we were making straight 'A's, / But we were stuck in a dumb daze. / Don't take much to memorize your lies, / Or feel like I've been hypnoticized./ . . . You know I was on a honor roll./ Got good grades and got no soul./ Raise my hand before I can speak my mind./ I been biting my tongue too many times."
The final lesson comes after they lose the Battle of the Bands. Finn is crushed, and a student reminds him, "Rock isn't about getting an 'A'. The Sex Pistols never got an 'A'." Ultimately this is what School of Rock is about: creating an education that is less alienating and embraces your soul instead of a system of education that dehumanizes.
---------------
yes..... but what about an education system in which you learn your ABCs and 123s?? hm but maybe that's not as impt as having a positive self image? but you can't live off self image... but maybe i think that because I've been conditioned to think that... sigh. I think Capitalism is The Man. the Establishment is The Man..... ah... all these wonderfully nebulous concepts.
How I love those JC-GP essay days when you just take 1 stand, psycho urself to fervently believe in it, then craft a paper in which you pretend to take a balanced view but actually insidiously slant your argument so that every paragraph makes a point in your favor.
OMG! Now I understand how the PAP works! THIS is how they control Singapore!wow. I'm stunned.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Loading...
Is a constant fight
Against the tide
Of submission.
was just thinking about the Buddhist philosophy that life is a constant wheel of suffering, and that one has to do good deeds to gain enlightenment and freedom from the cycle of birth and rebirth. I was also thinking about how, for any society to progress economically, the upper class has to screw the lower class-- someone has to provide cheap labor, and the faster you want to progress, the harder you have to push your masses. But the problem with this is that the masses don't like to suffer. Fortunately, you have religion to keep them content. Buddhism is a brilliant, brilliant philosophy-- Of course you have to suffer now, my dearest laborers-- this is because of bad deeds you've done in your past life. Thank heavens you're still a man, and not reborn as an ant. But don't worry, be content and do good deeds now, so that you have a hope for a better next-life. Meanwhile, try to detach yourself from all emotion, and btw, eat only vegetables.
brilliant.
no wonder it spread so readily to China-- they also have millions of Oppressed that need to be kept docile.
Life SUX. I hope I get reborn as something that dies really quickly. wait... I dunno... maybe not. ARGH. Bloody hell. I have no control over anything anyways. Who in f*ck cares what I want, or hope for, or aspire for with every fibre of my being...
There exists
Two worlds
One that's there, and
One that's not.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Da Scoop
1) Luz new bf has so far only been sighted by Mark. According to Mark, he is very shy. But at least we have one confirmed, reliable source. So we have evidence that he is real. I can't remember his name.... Samuel? Need to get his last name too so that we may google, facebook and friendster him. This will surely allow us to learn everything worth knowing, and make accurate value judgements on his personality, character, and suitability for our good friend Lucinda.
2) According to Mark, he has no love life.
3) According to Leonard, he also has no love life.
-----------
Just watched Shawshank Redemption again. Lisa is surprised that men get raped by other men in prison. I've somehow known this for a while, not just thru this movie. It is not at all surprising to me. Long/life sentences in prison is quite a while to have enforced celibacy. It's even worse than being on a boat for months and months, and look what a reputation Fleet Week has all over America. I was telling Lisa that the body has needs. And she corrected me that this is a want, not a need. I guess that's true. You don't need it to survive. But look at what happens when you deprive catholic priests.....
sigh. Humans are so flawed. but... what is perfection? Why is that perfect?
-----------------
I need to get out of my room, and out of the house. Apparently, the sun is shining outside.

it's ok. I'm definately gonna catch the next one on Feb 20th 2008. check out it's NASA page