I usually don't post lyrics, but this song struck a chord.
----------------------------
I am still living with your ghost
Lonely and dreaming of the west coast
I don't want to be your downtime
I don't want to be your stupid game
With my big black boots and an old suitcase
I do believe Ill find myself a new place
I don't want to be the bad guy
I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just want to see some palm trees
Go and try and shake away this disease
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
I am still dreaming of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away
I don't want to be your good time
I don't want to be your fall-back crutch anymore
I'll walk right out into a brand new day
Insane and rising in my own weird way
I don't want to be the bad guy
I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just want to feel some sunshine
I just want to find some place to be alone
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
------------------------------
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Why I like being home
- Being home = holiday = no work
- Being taken care of (and shamelessly taking advantage of it)
- Food, endless food
Leaving home for America always surprises me by the pang of.. um... homesickness? regret? despair?... that it evokes. Je ne sais quoi. But once I get back it disappears and I slip right back into the usual home-lab-home routine. So I know this reluctance is very temporary.
Luz is talking about marriage and looking at condos. I saw Gerry's kid at the class reunion. He is very cute. He runs around. And um.. Yirong's bf looks disturbingly like Tiannuo.
These past few weeks I feel like I've been living in a bubble-- I see and hear stuff going on outside, but I have this buffer zone. I observe but nothing seems quite real to me. Or it's like I'm at the zoo. I dunno.
I need to string together coherent sentences and thoughts, but am kinda mixed up now. Life will be better after Sept 2nd. It's a spectre that invades my consciousness and sub-consciousness and unconsciousness. I'm glad I'm going back to Stanford. I need to focus on work. Too many distractions.
- Being taken care of (and shamelessly taking advantage of it)
- Food, endless food
Leaving home for America always surprises me by the pang of.. um... homesickness? regret? despair?... that it evokes. Je ne sais quoi. But once I get back it disappears and I slip right back into the usual home-lab-home routine. So I know this reluctance is very temporary.
Luz is talking about marriage and looking at condos. I saw Gerry's kid at the class reunion. He is very cute. He runs around. And um.. Yirong's bf looks disturbingly like Tiannuo.
These past few weeks I feel like I've been living in a bubble-- I see and hear stuff going on outside, but I have this buffer zone. I observe but nothing seems quite real to me. Or it's like I'm at the zoo. I dunno.
I need to string together coherent sentences and thoughts, but am kinda mixed up now. Life will be better after Sept 2nd. It's a spectre that invades my consciousness and sub-consciousness and unconsciousness. I'm glad I'm going back to Stanford. I need to focus on work. Too many distractions.
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