The problem of pain

I was IM-ing Leonard, who had just read my depressed post of June 30th. He told me not to be depressed because he's sure that things will work out in the end. Since Leonard is such a gd friend, I decided that it was safe to completely lose my cool and yell at him for making empty statements of assurances because

1) he can never be absolutely sure that things will work out in the end, for
2) he has no power at all over my experiments, and therefore

3) his statement only gives me false hope, and depresses me even more because it's said with such easy confidence. Everyone seems to have such expectations that I'll do fine, but they are not the ones doing failed experiment after failed experiment and rapidly running out of ideas to try and getting increasingly frantic..... *AARRRRRRGGGRGRHHHHH*

*deep breath*

SO. I've decided to make this 101th post a little tutorial about how to react to your grad student (GS) friends when they get depressed over work.

Strategy 1 -- distraction with comfort food
GS: I want to die.
Savvy Sympathizer: You poor thing. Let me buy you bubble tea/icecream/chocolate/egg tarts.

Strategy 2 -- distraction with other activities
GS: My experiments never work.
SS: I'm going to do [insert something wonderful and exciting which doesn't involve a pipette]. Wanna come?

Strategy 3 -- wise counsel
GS: My mice are (not) dying!! WHY?????
SS: Have you tried feeding them sunflower seeds? Apparently that improves their telepathy skills, and makes them tell you exactly what you're doing wrong.

Strategy 4 -- blessed relief
GS: My life is hell.
SS: *Whacks GS on the head with a heavy blunt instrument*


Negative demonstration (On NO ACCOUNT should this be tried at home)
GS: I'm never going to graduate!!
Sympathizer: Don't worry, I'm SURE things will work out in the end.
GS: *Whacks S on the head with heavy blunt instrument, and throws him out thru the window*


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Oh.. and despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm actually doing ok. I've been practicing detachment, and it's working really well!! My suicidal tendencies are kept (mostly) in check, and surface only when people ask me, "So when are you graduating?"

I'll try to blog about happier things next time. Was at the bookstore and there was a book called "No one cares what you had for lunch -- 100 ideas for your blog." In it, the author wrote that even though it is tempting to use one's blog as a stage to gripe and whine, sometimes writing about happy things makes for a much more entertaining read.

I'm still mulling over that thought. And I tend to disagree. I think I am at my most entertaining when I'm ranting. Which brings me to a disturbing question: what if I'm at my happiest when I'm unhappy??